I'm Going Through the Change

I read a post about the Baltimore Aquarium, and the woman was complaining about all the soccer moms pushing strollers, and I thought, you fuck, it's cute that you changed moms into soccer moms just because it's supposedly an offensive term, like Liberal, but if they're soccer moms, doesn't it mean their kids play soccer? So what are they doing sitting on strollers in an aquarium? But I didn't leave a comment because that's stupid and I also felt weird about it all.

And then I thought about our June trip to Israel, and I suddenly remembered how I used to calculate when would be the best time to avoid screaming babies on the flight…

But now, if we board the plane, and my baby starts to cry, and you give me that look, I want you to know that this baby's cry is breaking my heart and tearing my soul to pieces. And I'm sorry my child's suffering is disturbing your enjoyment of Rush Hour 3 and I'm sorry it'll stop you from setting a Sudoku record, but turn your face the fuck away from me. Punk.

And I never got baby photos. Why do people take baby photos when all babies look the same?

But God help me, this guy is special.