The Forum

A friend of mine did the Forum. Maybe it has other names in different countries but it’s the same thing: You go there and admit you’re afraid of people and then you discover you are merely a part of a whole and that everyone is fragile and that you should confront your childhood fears instead of ignoring them, and then you call everyone you’ve ever feared and hated (which means everyone you've ever known) and you tell them, “I forgive you.”

So pretty soon people started to get really annoyed by her forgiving them.

But her life got much better. Facing the world with no fears, she started a business, got a divorce (she later called her husband to tell him she forgave him), rented a place by herself, quit smoking, and exercised.

These things don’t usually last, and soon she was back to her old all-too-human self. When you’re a part of a religion it’s easier to adhere to certain guidelines, but when you’ve just learned something and then you're thrown into the world, all it takes is that one experience you didn't prepare for, and you go back to what you know and trust, fearing people and keeping your feelings inside.

I think at one point in my life, after I was fired from my job and started reading The Golden Sayings of Epictetus, I was also on my way to come to terms with the world, but shit happens and before I knew it I was getting angry at people for stupid stuff and getting offended because I lost the little humility I had gained after getting fired. Like Flannery O’Connor said, we could all have been good people if there was someone there to shoot us every minute of our lives.

It’s not easy, living right. Or maybe it’s the easiest thing in the world.