Spitzer? I Hardly Even Know Her!

I was tagged by StyleSwag with the facts about myself meme. About four months ago. What can you do. This time, it's suitable that I do only embarrassing facts. I call it The Spitzer Meme.

1. I'll never put ads on this blog because money is the root of all evil, but I constantly think of ways of making money online. And I can't think of anything. I want to start a blog or a website that will make people come over and click on ads and buy shit they don't need, and I don't know how. A man can't even give away his soul nowadays?
2. About fifteen years ago, what song was I rocking out to while sliding a 360 on a highway? "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)." Wait, it gets worse.
3. Danced in a cage in Heaven Club in London. I wasn't even paid to do that. I just saw a cage and got in. Who can resist an open cage?
4. Fainted during a Sinead O'Connor concert. Told you it would get worse.
5. Very, very excited about the return of Beauty and the Geek.
6. I don't know much about much, but two things others don't know I do know, which gives me an enormous advantage: I'm good at catching stuff with my mouth. Kind of like a dolphin, but not as smart. I don't smile as much either. I don't trust dolphins. And the second thing I know? The formula for calculating 1+2+3+4+... Here's how you do it: You add 1 to the last number (if it's 100, then we get 101), then multiply it by half of the last number (making the result 101*50=5050). I lost my advantage over you.
7. Sometimes I'm really happy.

Now, if anyone else wants to do the Spitzer, you're welcome, and you'll make me happy and your country proud. I'm tempted to tag you but I'm not ready for the rejection. It's fun, though. You should do it.

What I Think About When I Lie On the Floor, Getting Ready to Do Just One More Sit Up In Order to Get Rid of My Sympathy Belly

• My fan looks like a Muppet.
  
• I could spend the rest of my life watching Beauty and the Geek.
• Man, that Pushing Daisies show is good.
  
• My back hurts.
• I'm a bit dizzy. Been taking these crazy pills ever since my once-a-decade day of exercise. I think I'd have been safer if I started smoking again. Apparently I tore a ligament in my left leg, whatever that means.
• A little anecdote: The first day I took these pills, I woke up in the middle of the night in panic because I thought I owed two-thousands Dollars in rent. I calmed myself down after a few minutes because I don't owe rent, and then I thought that maybe I woke up as someone else, and I panicked again.
• Never had a massage. I want a massage.
  

• I could lie here all day, looking at the Muppet.
• I wish I didn't drink Coke and didn't eat Nestle products, but then I might as well cut my dick off.
• Speaking of cutting one's dick off, I'm not excited about the circumcision thing. I saw a picture in one of the classes we're taking... Man... It's bloody and scabby... But we'll do it anyway. For me, at least, even a scabby one is less weird than a non-circumcised one.
• One day I'll be old and that will be sad. Maybe I should spend my time doing fun things instead of lying here looking at the ceiling fan?
• In 2001, I was a mover in New York for a few months, and my body looked like an upside down triangle. If you put my old body on top of my new body you get the Star of David.
• Here's a good moving-related trivia question: What did people get rid of when they moved? What's the one thing that stood out most of all? It's pretty interesting, I think. Anyway, the answer is treadmills.
  
• I'm hungry.