Comments on People in the Sun: Missed Opportunities

Metalmom, I know... I'm so jealous of quick-respon...

2008-09-05T01:39:22.459-04:00

Metalmom, I know... I'm so jealous of quick-response people.

Honey, maybe I am funny after all... But for the sake of truth and justice, and because I have a reputation here, as soon as he called me a fudge packer you did tell me to get in the car. (and whether the other people in the car laughed with me or at me, thinking I was serious because I'm a dirty immigrant, is till debatable, apparently).

And you know what's POMO? That between your comment and my comment, we've moved from waterboarding him to also force-feeding him. What's next? Flushing Goodnight Moon down the toilet? (and I love you too)

Frosty, I wanted to make a Caps Lock joke, but came up with nothing. See?

Dan, I never saw that episode. That's funny. Maybe one day I'll get my second chance.

B, it's the lead exposure!

I hate kids. 90% of them are rude little assholes....

2008-09-03T14:52:35.783-04:00

I hate kids. 90% of them are rude little assholes.

I think some people just lack a sensor that stops them from saying stupid shit.

"That's my hooker's name" is a great line on so ma...

2008-09-03T00:35:16.059-04:00

"That's my hooker's name" is a great line on so many levels. That will just have to be your Jerk Store line for all time.

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.

2008-09-02T15:11:55.232-04:00

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.

Just a quick point of clarification. I believe whe...

2008-09-02T13:46:56.199-04:00

Just a quick point of clarification. I believe when you got in the car I asked "why did you let that kid call you a fudge-packer?" and you replied "because he's right, I do have a dead end job." All car occupants then roared with laughter and the story has been legendary ever since. Your wit would have been lost on our neighbors but it is cherished by your friends.

And another thing. Is it not more POMO to make him not a republican? At any rate no psychological warfare on junior he's too cute and his head is already subjected to enough trauma these days. We can stick to the water-boarding.

I love you-Honey

I like to call people in the middle of the night a...

2008-09-02T13:44:21.776-04:00

I like to call people in the middle of the night and say stupid stuff like:

Oh yeah? Well...well...Your feet smell!

It never quite comes off the same...

I already have daily 30 minutes sessions with the ...

2008-09-02T11:51:36.501-04:00

I already have daily 30 minutes sessions with the baby, when I tell him the world is all about competing for limited resources, and if he doesn't hit first he'll get hit, and that only number one counts because number two is a loser. We then go on rides where I show him how to always drive first on four-way stops.

I'm going to make him a Republican as a post-modern joke.

In the part of the world where I grew up there is ...

2008-09-02T02:15:41.744-04:00

In the part of the world where I grew up there is a saying that I think is appropriate here:

Well, People in the Sun, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first.

I'm really looking forward to using that on the boy. He's going to love his dad.

SJ, Xbox, I know... That first one has been haunti...

2008-09-01T23:42:41.300-04:00

SJ,

Xbox, I know... That first one has been haunting me for ten years.

Bluestreak, and I just mumbled something like, "Oh." I was anti-everything at the time, and all of a sudden this SUV-mom was giving me this opportunity. And I failed. And the SUV won.

Woozie, and the weirdest stuff comes out when I'm really not prepared to deal with the consequences. We went to the State Fair yesterday, and we walked around the cows, and the second I realized this was the Angus area and that they were on their way to become meat, I shouted, "You're all gonna die!" And there were families with children there, looking at me funny. And Honey ran away.

Rol, maybe I would have been a what's-it-called... an improv guy. And you know that's the most horrible, most embarrassing thing in the world. They always test jokes on you. Man, I hate improv people.

Feefifoto, awww, that's a shame. Still, a line like that is all in the delivery. You could have been a hero, but you also could have been remembered forever as this weirdo who laughs at disabled people. I would have thought very highly of you if I heard that, for what's it worth.

Jill, my bet is he would have answered with a witty comeback. Or stab me.

Oh well...I imagine at least two of those turned o...

2008-09-01T17:18:16.037-04:00

Oh well...I imagine at least two of those turned out for the best. Though I'd really like to know what the fudge packer kid would have had to say to that response.

I missed an opportunity like that when I was in la...

2008-09-01T12:56:45.637-04:00

I missed an opportunity like that when I was in law school and I still grit my teeth whenever I think about it. The hypothetical concerned a famous football player (actually, it was Archie Manning) who's caught between two streetcars and has both his legs broken. The issue was whether he had standing to sue the city and the answer was no. I was dying to raise my hand and comment that he didn't have a leg to stand on, but I chickened out and have regretted it ever since.

That's the writer in you coming out - if you could...

2008-09-01T11:25:59.178-04:00

That's the writer in you coming out - if you could say these things at the time, you'd be someone else entirely.

Stuff like that always lords over me too. I always...

2008-09-01T10:42:51.669-04:00

Stuff like that always lords over me too. I always regret not acting on my wit but I usually try to hold it back around strangers. I wouldn't need anyone knifing any tendons because I said they have the face for a voice-over artist.

the hooker comment would have been awesome. Hate ...

2008-09-01T08:50:09.083-04:00

the hooker comment would have been awesome. Hate how that stuff comes later. Ain´t that life.

Oh I hear you.I am the wittiest, meanest insult gi...

2008-09-01T06:31:33.693-04:00

Oh I hear you.

I am the wittiest, meanest insult giver on the planet, with about 2 days thinking time.

Good that you didn't say anything. I would recomme...

2008-09-01T02:17:14.403-04:00

Good that you didn't say anything. I would recommend that you stop talking all together.