A couple of months ago, a high-school friend asked me (on Facebook) what was Madeline's Hebrew name. In his defense, maybe he was joking. You don't know with some people. Still, it's common for Jewish people to have a Hebrew name, and even though I don't believe in that whole God and His Talking Snake thing, it was on my mind when I was thinking about a name.
When the name Madeline came up for the first time, I wasn't sure. It wasn't just a non-Jewish name--it was a New Testament name. The only way it could work was if I found an example of a non-observant Jewish Madeline who was also a cool, strong woman. Then I found this video, and Madeline got her name.
I think I'm losing the Hebrew battle. He used to talk to me in Hebrew and to everyone else in English, but right now it's pretty much all English. Not sure what to do about it, though. The only thing I can think of is somehow finding another Israeli around here. I actually thought about putting an ad on Craigslist, looking for Liberal Atheist parents of a two-year-old Hebrew speaker. In Baltimore. Anyone?
Not enough people watched Drag Me to Hell to appreciate the brilliance of my previous post. Which means I might have to forgo my 2012 post. And I had such great insight about the President in the movie, who just like our current President, is African-American, loves his family, and will kill anyone who stands in his way.
As much as I hate the New Yorkers who protested the "Ground Zero Mosque," I have to appreciate them for choosing Carl Paladino as the GOP Governor candidate, because at least they have an apocalyptic sense of humor. Congratulations, CP!
So now that I'm slowly realizing Facebook is not JUST about creating enemies, I find more people I knew in high school. But my hand shakes every time I hover around the Add as Friend button. Because then what? She'll tell me my kids are cute, I'll tell her she looks happy. And? Am I missing something? Is it worth it? Because I have a feeling that it makes more sense to lose touch with your friends just after high school than reconnecting twenty years later to find out your high school self should have been a little more picky. I don't know. Or should I press the damn button and ask questions later?
So this poor woman makes one mistake. And it's not even her fault, poor thing. A Gypsy woman asks for an extension on her loan, and our woman says No. Because of many reasons. Like, she wants a promotion to feel she's good enough for her boyfriend, and that Gypsy is really gross, putting her yellow rotten false teeth on the desk, and really, a bank is not a charity, you know?
So our woman says No, and before you know it, the Gypsy whispers some Gypsy shit and the demons are out to get the girl and drag her to hell, I guess. So they chase her around and beat her up, and they really make her look stupid in front of her boyfriend's mother, which is the worst!
"I think I need to go home now."
"Yes... I think that will be for the best."
Can you imagine a future in-law saying that?!
So anyway, this poor woman has a Gypsy curse on her hands, and her relationship is in trouble, and now the Gypsy's daughter is calling her Fat, like, where did that come from? So she goes home and starts to cry, and she sits on her couch and eats ice cream.
And here's my problem.
If you're being cursed by a Gypsy, offended by her daughter, and banished from your future in-laws', are you really going to opt for Turkey Hill?