Previously On Lost

Next week, Honey is getting back to work. Here's a picture of me being psyched about taking care of the two children and the two dogs!

Anyway, no big deal. At least at night I'll get to watch a new episode of Lost.

Man... these losers have been with me for a long time.

A lot has changed in my life since Jack opened his eyes and found himself on the island. Remember that first episode? A guy got sucked into the engine of the plane, and there was a big explosion, and a monster killed a pilot or something. Or did that happen later? And then Whatshisname ran on the beach, shouting, "Others, others!" And then Desmond pressed a button and said, "Brother." Jack and Desmond cried a lot. Who's in the coffin? Maybe this guy?

And then they went off the island and back on the island, and now Sawyer is crying, and I'm thinking maybe I've wasted my time here because this new show, Heroes, looks like fun!

But then Heroes was bullshit, so whatever. We're back on the island. By the time these lost douchenozzles figure out the big masterplan, I can make two babies, is what I'm saying.

But that's not what I wanted to write about.

Or maybe that was it?

I think I wanted to write a touching post about the changes in my life, but then I talked to Kim on Skype and saw myself on the webcam, and looking at this beard, I can't write anything serious, because you know, look at this shit!

A Tax Day Patriot Pushing the Limits of the First Amendment. For Freedom.

So we were supposed to meet friends in the Air and Space Museum in DC on Thursday, but late on Wednesday I realized it was Tax Day, which meant--

TEA PARTY!

It looked promising. It was Tax Day, after all, which is Obama's favorite day, because he gets to take our money and give it to terrorists. And this billboard greeted us when we got to DC:

But expecting to see the Mall packed with Tea Party Patriots holding Obama-in-a-Hitler-Mustache signs, I was disappointed to find this scene:

Was my boy the only Patriot in town? Was my boy the only one who stood up for the CONSTITUTION? We walked around a little more, and found a few Yellow-Flags wandering around, confused and defeated.

A friend of mine actually asked one of them where the rally was, and he said, "It's everywhere! That's the thing about it!"

See, it's not just that they're confused about their message and about their goals. They have no idea what's going on.

Eventually, we found the party by following the Fox News trucks. And it was GLORIOUS!

And that was it. Before we left, at 3:30pm, we found out the real Hate-Party didn't start until 5:30pm, but considering this was an event coordinated and sponsored by the biggest lobbying firms and news station in America, on a beautiful day, and a very symbolic one at that, this had to be a let-down. Have they given up on America? The President is practically a Nazi, and you can't even come to DC with a photoshopped sign that proves it?

Even watching a woman standing on a street-corner with a "Virginity Rocks" shirt didn't help.

But one image from the Tax Day Tea Party will stay with me for the rest of my life. See, these fools were following the lead of the cynical manipulators who have somehow convinced them that less tax was more tax, that expanding health care and regulating Wall Street was an affront to Freedom, and that a couple would fake a newspaper birth announcement in the hope that their newborn would some day become President. And these fools were easy to manipulate because their President's skin color was darker than theirs.

But only one man in DC really had the courage to stand up for America. While the Yellow-Flags Teabaggers were only hinting at what they really believed in, this man was brave enough to push the limits of the First Amendment as far as America could take it. On behalf of a grateful nation, I salute you, Speedo-Man.

The Transformation

For some reason, if you Google "Who's Cute," this post comes up first. Which means that if you write Who's Cute on your address bar, it automatically takes you to this post. Not sure how that happened, and it's probably very temporary anyway, but at least it's made me reread that post. A crazy post to reread, by the way.

Written days after my boy was born, it has all the fears of a new father. All the emotion.

 "And although the other day I experienced an incredible moment when he suddenly opened his eyes and stared at me intently like he knew (but will soon forget) his entire future, and although in this short moment I saw love and understanding and forgiveness for all of my future mistakes, that moment was soon over and he went back to doing what he's supposed to do--eat, poop, and sleep."

And I'm not being cynical about it, don't get me wrong. But things are different this time around. It's not necessarily bad, though. While a first child is a validation of our love and of our commitment and of us looking at each other and thinking that if a child gets the best of both of us, he might just turn out to be kind of cute, with the second child, it's not about us anymore.

And while the picture above shows the man who's turned into a father, the pictures below show a different transformation, as the couple moves back and realize we have turned into a family.