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22 June 2010

Relativism

I can't lie. I missed you. I know not everyone likes you. But I don't care.


Speaking of changing the subject, you know how you're stuck in standing traffic, and all of a sudden this car comes in from the merge lane that THEY KNEW was going to end soon, and you drive a little closer to the car in front of you to make sure the car doesn't get between you two, because your mama didn't raise no fool?

And you know how you sometimes find yourself in a merge lane, and you try to get into a fast lane but car after car ignores you, and what the fuck is wrong with people, can't they see a car is trying to merge in? Why is everyone such a dick?

Or in other words, people are always right.

That's how I feel about the soccer football okay, soccer world cup. I didn't watch it last time. Actually, last time I watched a world cup game was 1998. Since then, I've had lots of fun with those idiots who spent hours watching these dumb games. I mean, it's one thing to be a little Fascist and root for your country, but why would anyone watch Chile vs. Switzerland? You're that desperate for entertainment that you'll spend two hours watching a bunch of dudes play with each other?


But of course I'm having a great time so far. And not only that. I get angry when I hear people complain about other people who talk about the games. And I can turn a blind eye to the fact that most games are shown on ESPN rather than on a network, but what kind of a country is that when a world cup game is relegated to ESPN2 because of golf? GOLF! 


Maybe it's because I get to watch a game during breakfast and another one while I relax during naptime. Or maybe it's because it's just addictive, and once you watch a game you can't stop. Or maybe it's because--and I know you Американские капиталисты don't necessarily agree--it's fun to watch these things. It's exciting, goddammit. And I know some asshole is going to say soccer is dumb, and that I must be desperate for entertainment if I spend hours watching Chile play against Switzerland. I mean, they don't even have working toilets in Chile. Or maybe that's Peru? But you know what I say to these people? I don't care! You don't like it? Don't watch it. No one gives a fuck what you think. Change a goddamn channel.

And the fact that Republicans hate soccer is maybe the best reason to watch.

15 comments:

Rol said...

EEK - I do hope that doesn't make me a Republican!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Yesterday when I took my boy to play laser tag and forgot to bring my book, I had to watch like 15 minutes of I think it was maybe...Honduras vs. maybe another country that speaks Spanish. But I cleaned out my purse at the same time and it was only 15 minutes, so it wasn't that bad. I have no idea how people watch golf.

Kristen said...

That made me laugh. Somehow I knew you were headed towards a jab about Republicans or Glenn Beck. :)

Tom Harper said...

I didn't know Republicans hated soccer. Maybe I'll start watching it.

People in the Sun said...

Tom, I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

Jill, so, did you watch the game today? Did it hook you? Are you a soccer addict now? Are you getting married wearing soccer outfits? That's will be AWESOME. I bet you can get a rabbi to dress up like a referee.

Kristen, I'm just lucky Beck hasn't come out praising Nutella yet, or I'd have to move to peanut butter. And I HATE peanut butter!

Tom, you have to watch these games. That's usually when Obama and Soros transmit hidden subconscious messages about distribution of wealth.

Mama Zen said...

Republicans hate soccer? Shit. Now, I have to watch.

People in the Sun said...

They just can't take 45 minutes without commercials. How would they know whether to drink Bud or Coors?

cooper@wonderlandornot.net said...

h'
I miss Eric, but that's just me.

I love soccer. I've watched in a a few different places over the last week, and have been pleasantly surprised at the watchers diversity. No Repubs though, you are right in that...;)

People in the Sun said...

I can deal with Eric but the Queen must go!

Sebastien Millon said...

Gotta agree watching soccer is addictive! but I don't like spending too much time with the tv so I don't really watch much. I have more important things to do, like drawing murderous psychotic lemurs and dead children.

SJ said...

Same here. I didn't watch the last couple of Cups with much interest. This one has been very addictive. Maybe it's all those vuvuzelas that are like a trance inducing chant?!?!

I think Switerland was cheated by a too strict refree with that send off against Chile. Of course Chile played well enough to win.

It's always great to see England lose :)

People in the Sun said...

Sebastien, that's why you need to start working on a TV show!

SJ, I don't remember that game. I'm torn with the referees. On one hand, they've made some really bad decisions that got teams thrown out of the cup. On the other hand, there is some beauty in the game not having technology and replays involved. I don't know.

I was a bit sad about England. Living there for five years, I remembered how people's lives revolved around getting another cup. They used to look back to the days of the great empire. Now they look back to 1966.

But it was great to see France lose.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

I totally got married in a soccer uniform!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As long as there's a soccer team that wears sparkly champagne colored flapper style dresses with spaghetti straps. There is, isn't there?

Big Ben said...

Soccer sucks, I don't watch.

I hate most other drivers, I try to take the subway as much as I can, because someday I'm going to run someone off the road and smash their windshield with a baseball bat.

People in the Sun said...

Jill, Congratulations again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Ben, well guess what? You get a red card for that first sentence. Which means you're not only out of this game, but you're off the semi-finals!

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