So we were supposed to meet friends in the Air and Space Museum in DC on Thursday, but late on Wednesday I realized it was Tax Day, which meant--
It looked promising. It was Tax Day, after all, which is Obama's favorite day, because he gets to take our money and give it to terrorists. And this billboard greeted us when we got to DC:
But expecting to see the Mall packed with Tea Party Patriots holding Obama-in-a-Hitler-Mustache signs, I was disappointed to find this scene:
Was my boy the only Patriot in town? Was my boy the only one who stood up for the CONSTITUTION? We walked around a little more, and found a few Yellow-Flags wandering around, confused and defeated.
A friend of mine actually asked one of them where the rally was, and he said, "It's everywhere! That's the thing about it!"
See, it's not just that they're confused about their message and about their goals. They have no idea what's going on.
Eventually, we found the party by following the Fox News trucks. And it was GLORIOUS!
And that was it. Before we left, at 3:30pm, we found out the real Hate-Party didn't start until 5:30pm, but considering this was an event coordinated and sponsored by the biggest lobbying firms and news station in America, on a beautiful day, and a very symbolic one at that, this had to be a let-down. Have they given up on America? The President is practically a Nazi, and you can't even come to DC with a photoshopped sign that proves it?
Even watching a woman standing on a street-corner with a "Virginity Rocks" shirt didn't help.
But one image from the Tax Day Tea Party will stay with me for the rest of my life. See, these fools were following the lead of the cynical manipulators who have somehow convinced them that less tax was more tax, that expanding health care and regulating Wall Street was an affront to Freedom, and that a couple would fake a newspaper birth announcement in the hope that their newborn would some day become President. And these fools were easy to manipulate because their President's skin color was darker than theirs.
But only one man in DC really had the courage to stand up for America. While the Yellow-Flags Teabaggers were only hinting at what they really believed in, this man was brave enough to push the limits of the First Amendment as far as America could take it. On behalf of a grateful nation, I salute you, Speedo-Man.