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10 October 2009

My Jada Pinkett Smith Story

My Jada Pinkett Smith Story


So this happened on Tuesday. It was getting late, and things around here were winding down. Honey was about to put the baby to sleep, then go upstairs. I was getting ready to go online and tell people they're stupid and racist. But Buddy was crying downstairs, so I went to check on him.

It's not that rare that this crazy dog cries. He's very attached to his toy, and if anyone else accidentally touches it and makes it squeak, Buddy will grab it, lay it down on his cushion, and cry for hours. But I went to check, just to make sure.

There was a puddle of blood on the kitchen floor.

Buddy had gone outside to pee more than usual, I remembered, and he actually puked a little an hour earlier, which also wasn't a big deal (considering his age and the fact that the baby pretty much shares his meals with him). But he never peed blood before.

In the car, on the way to the vet, I sang songs about a dog named Buddy who was a very good boy. I told him that I expected him to live for at least 3 to 4 more years. Then I corrected myself and said, "Let's make it two. I just... I want Liam to remember you..." And I cried and I cried...

So the vet quickly examines him, takes a sample of the blood he left on the floor in her office, and then she has a talk with me. I'm sitting down.

If it happened to a female dog, it would most likely have been a urinary tract infection. But it was very rare for males. Still, it was a possibility. But it could be a kidney stone. Or cancer. They were going to do x-rays and blood work and many other tests and rule out stuff and they would let me know what was going on as soon as possible.

So I was pacing and pacing in the waiting room, and then I was calm enough to start watching "Hawthorne," a medical drama series on TNT, starring Jada Pinkett Smith. Did you know hospital workers work very long hours? They mentioned that there. And there's romance between the doctors and the nurses, and power plays. It was painful. It had every medical drama cliché we've seen on every medical drama series, only with worse acting. I peeked into the treatment area. Nothing.

Then "Saving Grace" started. It's a police drama starring Holly Hunter. There was a body in the freezer, but it was just a prank! Cops work very long hours, and they fall in love with each other, and they often take their work home with them! But to diffuse the tension, they pull pranks on each other too. The vet came outside only to thank me for being patient. No news yet.

Then another "Hawthorne." This was actually a repeat of the one they showed an hour earlier. But I watched it again anyway. How can the doctor not know she's in love with him? Why do people play games like that? Where the fuck was my dog?

And then the vet came back and told me that the bad things had been ruled out, and that even though a urinary tract infection was rare for males, his old age means that's likely what it was.

And was I overcome with joy? See, that's the kind of person I am: I hear these great news and all I can think is, "I can't believe you made me watch this shit. Twice!"

23 comments:

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Good for doggie.

Incidentally saving grace is also an English movie with one of my favourite scenes ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RODh-tZHp28

Two old shop assistants stumble across a friend's cannabis stash thinking it's tea. Best scene starts at 4:00 in.

Frosty said...

Aw, Buddy. It's good to know when people take such good care of their dogs.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Gosh, this is so good to read. And I agree about the dogs--yes!

Sebastien said...

YES!!! You had me worried there. So happy Buddy is ok.

That line about getting ready to go online and tell people they are stupid and racist killed me, too funny. You have such a wonderful knack for humor.

Give Buddy a big hug for me. And, uh, don't touch his toy. My dog is the opposite. Usually, when I'm resting on my bed, he'll bring his polar bear and rub it in my face. If that doesn't work, he brings his squeaky monkey. IF that doesn't work, he lies the monkey down next to the polar bear at the foot of my bed and gets another toy... he is very persistent. Gawd I love him!!!

feefifoto said...

I know what you were really thinking, though. I read minds like that.

Ellie said...

Jeez! You gave me flashbacks to a different acting fiasco (ok, maybe not fiasco ... but not so great a movie): the dog movie with jennifer aniston and owen wilson. It was on a plane. I had to take the headphones off and not watch at the end because I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Glad Buddy is ok!

People in the Sun said...

Xbox, I saw it a long time ago. Got it out on Blockbusters, which used to be a place where you went to rent videos and DVDs and pay late fees. People were dressed in blue and yellow. It was all very quaint. I think that was the first movie she did after Secrets and Lies. Now that was a great movie.

Frosty, thanks. To be fair, my initial reaction was the usual, "Let's just keep an eye on that, and see how he feels tomorrow." But blood is red and scary for a reason, I suppose.

Enemy, thanks. I do my best, which is really not enough. But they're content. They've gotten used to their couches and to each other's company. And every once in a while they get a treat, which can't be too bad.

Sebastien, thank you. People ARE stupid and racist. Luckily when I got home I still had the energy to tell a few people that they were WRONG. And Buddy is different in many ways. While Ginger always seeks attention and company, and as soon as I sit on the couch she moves next to me, Buddy jumps off with his toy and starts to cry, because he knows I only came down to get the toy and KILL IT.

Feefifoto, oh no. I was worried as hell, but as soon as things were okay I managed to find the negative. It's not easy being me.

Ellie, I cried on a plane at the end of Never Been Kissed. That's right. I did. Not proud of it. It happened. I moved on. (and thanks.)

Kate M said...

So Buddy is OK? What a relief!

People in the Sun said...

Kate, well, he's still a very old dog, you know? For a pure breed Pit Bull he's about 15 years older than the average. I don't really know that. But he's old, and he's still a grouch who only bonds with his toy. Still, hopefully he'll be able to destroy a few more cushions.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

oh that post almost made me cry.

Until the end, when I was all 'YOU FREAKING ROCK!' Cause I would have done the same thing and now that I know someone else would do it I feel all normal and stuff.

That is how it works, right?

SJ said...

@Kelly - I doubt that our man in the sun feels NORMAL.

Man when you write like this I think you deserve a Nobel too - for literature.

Monique said...

Glad Buddy is ok. Animal drama is stressful.

I like Saving Grace. My mom always raved about it, so I finally watched it. I didn't want to admit to her that she was right ... or that I was old enough to like the same shows as my mom. LOL

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Good ending! :-)

People in the Sun said...

Kelley, I told some friends earlier today about going to the vet with Buddy and I didn't mention the whole Jada thing. The real world is not ready to accept a person who gets good news and still finds it within himself to feel betrayed by Jada (she's from Baltimore--double betrayal).

SJ, thanks. I'll take the Normal thing as a compliment. And I'll take the Noble part as a compliment too. Actually, I've just read that she's hosting the Nobel Peace Prize Concert, so I guess I can forget about it after this post.

Monique, I know. Thank you. To be fair, Saving Grace did look interesting. I was pacing back and forth so I missed some of the dialog... Who knows, maybe Hawthorne is also good? Na... It had a lot of meaningful whispers people never use in real life. I hate TV meaningful whispers.

Jill, :-)

People in the Sun said...

SJ, Oops. Nobel, not Noble. Maybe I'll get the Noble Prize. I look very noble when I write.

Faiqa said...

Have you ever seen House? They work long hours, throw around medical jargon and fall in love each other. Except there's painkiller abuse. They had me at the Vicodin.

(Glad your dog is OK-- you had me pretty worried).

People in the Sun said...

Faiqa, I've never seen it. We're a bit random with our TV here. (and thanks. He's a brat, but he can stay with us a few years longer, if he'll have us.)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

You're just full of good news. First, your doggie's gonna be OK, and second, I don't have to try out two crap shows.

Also? I still love your writing.

People in the Sun said...

NGIP, I don't know if I can handle that sort of power. I told someone not to watch Bored to Death, and then I realized I was a lone voice. I was right, it's a stupid show, but I felt guilty anyway. Which means now you have to watch these shows. (and thanks.)

Sebastien said...

You shouldn't 'kill' Buddy's toy, he will probably pee in your shoes. Probably been doing it for years without you noticing. He's subtle like that.

People in the Sun said...

Sebastien, people have been telling me for years that my feet smell like dog piss!

GirlGriot said...

So glad your dog's 'only' infected! So sorry you had to watch the same episode of Hawthorne twice ... and once again glad I haven't had TV in 7 years!

People in the Sun said...

You don't have a TV? By now, most people can tell who's in love with whom after one minute in a hospital. And you don't have that skill!

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