Now on with our story.
David Simon was on our plane to England. And I saw John Waters in Eddy's Supermarket a couple of months ago. Which means I've now seen all of Baltimore's real celebrities.
We went to the London Zoo. Liam, having a good time?
We had a drink in the Dublin Castle, where twelve years earlier we met.
We saw some of the old roommates. It was great. They changed and they haven't changed.
People in England like to make fun of Americans because Americans voted for an idiot who took them to war. English people voted for a smart man who took them to the same war, so I don't know which one's better. And now they voted the Nazis in. And that whole What's-His-Face political scandal is pretty unbelievable. Like this MP who went to church for a memorial service and donated 5 Pounds to the church, and then got reimbursed. It's a funny little Twilight Zone of a place, where they drive on the wrong side and drink tea with milk and everyone reads The Sun and turns to page 3 to see the daily boobies. And the new Heathrow Terminal 5 can kiss my bum.
On the bus from the plane to the terminal (because progress means you take a bus to the gate), there's a sign that says the bus was "Voted best bus of 2007," which makes me feel a little cheated, because it's not 2007 anymore.
Then we flew to Israel.
In Israel, we went to this park with my parents. Daddy, having a good time?
Went shopping a couple of times.
My friends live near Pinnes Street.
Israel: Pressure, stress, stomach viruses, jellyfish stings.
But also sunsets.
And just look at this waterfall. Could have been nice if this country had some water, though. You know, for the waterfalls. Maybe after they invade Iran, now that the Mossad has rigged their elections.
And cable cars.
And pasta.
And great-grandmas.
Here's me going down the mountain. It was a profound experience.
It's not really me, you know.
Saw Jack Black on our way back in Terminal 5. I really should prepare one-liners just in case I meet celebrities.
It's fucking good to be home, I'll tell you that.
(Oh, and here's a picture of the family. As usual, Cadet Mahoney has agreed to stand in for Honey).
(and it's not an optical illusion. My sister does have three arms).
22 comments:
And because who cares, anyway. And because what's the point? I'll just say one thing: Sometimes I look at myself and see too much fucking average...
Everyone is average at something. Chosen people should know better... Average = target.
I'd love to see Israel. So beautiful. No time now, tho. Luv the pasta pic! Great post!
My sister has two heads. Two faces, really, but still. Glad you're back. Vacation with kids really changes the whole restfulness aspect of the thing doesn't it?
Would you be happier if you were below average? Sometimes I think I would be !
I am having a good time reading your blog.
Dublin? We are heading there for Chief's R&R (I fly from DC, he flies from "the sand", we meet in Germany). can't wait!
Thanks for the comment. YES, exactly! if Obama blathers on, in the same vein as McCain, the opposition is seen as the tool of "The Great Satan"... DUH, why is that so hard to understand!!
LAW
That was a far more enjoyable summery of a holiday than 95% of the ones I've read on other blogs.
Including mine damnit.
For the record I have no idea who David Simon and John Waters are.
Yeah, I've been chastised more than once in England for all of the stupid shit we Americans do. Not once have I just kind of waved my arms around and said, "But what about...". Maybe I should start.
Love the photos. Especially the way grandpa naps like grandbaby, and the pasta night. Excellent!
Nice & funny post, I would say the same about the Brits, they do have a f up MP and government! Would liked to know more about your trip to Israel, Israeli reaction to Obama, elections in Lebanon, Iran...but let's not make this post political.
The world needs more of your type of "average". :-)
"English people voted for a smart man who took them to the same war"
Oh how I chuckled.
Glad you're back, safe and sound. That sunset is truly gorgeous.
great post, looks like you all had a blast!
Just wanted to say how cool it is that you saw John Waters at a supermarket. I love him! :D
Just stopping by to wish you a happy father's day! I hope that baby of yours made you breakfast in bed. Or at least spread some of that yummy looking pasta sauce on you!
Thimscool, thanks. You're right about the target. But I might be a little too comfortable sometimes with the average. And about the pasta picture, I was very happy when I saw it. I knew it was a winner.
Freeman, so it's normal that I didn't rest? Because I will not hesitate to send him to a finishing school in Switzerland if he doesn't let me relax. And when he comes back he'll be able to cook stuff, too.
SJ, hey, thanks. And I'm below-average on some things, don't worry. I'm a bad swimmer. And I assume I have above-average feet.
LAW, sorry. That Dublin Castle is just the name of the pub in London. I've never been to Ireland. We had an Irish guy in our band, so that's something. And I even understood some of what he said.
Dan, but you're missing out. John Waters is an icon, and David Simon is brilliant. Other than Elmo, they're the best thing to come out of Baltimore.
Mongoliangirl, when I'm here I feel I have the right to criticize a country that censures movies for bad words on TV but sells guns in supermarkets, but once I go abroad and see those self-righteous people complain about the war that wouldn't have been possible without Britain being a part of The Coalition of the Willing (Oh my God, remember the Bush years?), I just get mad and protective of my adopted country.
Ali, I don't mind making this post political, but I didn't really talk much politics when I was there. I also didn't watch much TV when I was there (unless you count the Israeli version of The Biggest Loser). I read some of the papers, and they were predictably anti-Obama. Op-eds calling on Bibi to ignore US demands for settlement freezes, and other insane stuff. I did talk to someone about the elections in Lebanon, saying it's proof the Obama tactic of not being a crazy redneck is working. But many people still look at Palestinians as people who understand nothing but force. That's the Bibi doctrine: Palestinians will only negotiate for peace under threat of force. The fact that this logic has failed in the last 60 years means nothing to the Bibi people. Bloodshed on both sides just means we should use more force.
Jill, thanks. I'm above-average on some things, too, I'm sure. Just haven't found them yet.
Xbox, right? The whole Bush argument at the beginning was that the war had to be just because even Blair gave the thumbs up. And the Brits called Blair a poodle but kept voting for him, because the opposition was even crazier. And then Blair got David Kelly and Robin Cook assassinated.
Praying, thank you. They do know how to make good sunsets there, I'll give them that.
Ophelia, some of the time. At other times I busied myself thinking what I could do next time to make sure I have a better time. Family vacations are stressful. Hollywood should really tap into that niche.
Ashley, but seriously, he saw my baby and just kept walking like he didn't just see the cutest baby in the world. He didn't stop to hug him or anything. So screw John Waters.
Jill, thanks. I was actually home alone most of the day. I did go on my torture device for about an hour until my face looked like a tomato. Oh yea, I have a torture device.
I love the way you take down entire countries with a few well-chosen words, and you build them back up as you see fit with a few more.
Now go write about more usually-mundane things in your inimitable style, so I can enjoy them as much as this vacation review.
I think I've been here before ...
You are funny; you made me smile and even chuckle a little bit.
Please put up a picture of your torture device. P)
Dan, hey, thanks. If nothing comes out of this blog (fame and fortune), at least I know I'm getting a writing style. I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious. I know it's not for everyone. But I'm getting there. Maybe one day I'll learn how to write longer sentences. Maybe when I unearth the secrets of the semi-colon.
Ellie, thanks. And I hope you come back. Maybe my next post will be about my torture device? For now, that's what my face looks like when I'm done.
Awwww... it's nice to see your family traveling :) Liam is such a cutie. I love the photos of your great grandmas. and we have the Peg Perego stroller too.. They are great
Looks like you guys had a good time. Glad you're back. Those are some sunsets, hu? I'll be seeing the AZ ones soon...can't wait.
Jolly, thank you. No matter what else happens on the trip, good or bad, I'm just glad for another visit to the grandmas. And the stroller was loaned by a friend of my sister. Over here we have a monster. The Hummer of strollers.
Blues, sunsets in AZ must be amazing. It's been too long since I've seen the American desert (not including the view from the Hard Rock in Las Vegas).
I really enjoy how your son eats his pasta. He inspires me!!! I'm going to eat my pasta like that next time I go out with the gf...
Love all the pictures by the way, looks like an amazing vacation.
You know, I can look at these beautiful pictures and find the stressful background to each. But maybe it says more about me than about the vacation.
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