Last week I went to Rite Aid with my chick-magnet to drop off a prescription. I sat him on the counter and waited for the pharmacist to look up. When she did, she actually jumped off her chair with the biggest smile I've ever seen.
"Oh my God, that's the cutest baby! Look at these big blue eyes! Oh my God, you came here and brought the sunshine with you! Hey! Look at this cute baby! Have you ever seen a baby this cute?"
And I'm thinking, "That's right! And I'm his daddy," because I kinda claim some of his stardust.
And then she starts looking at my prescription, but she can't take it anymore! So she lays the paper on the counter and runs back inside, coming back a minute later with this Rite Aid teddy bear.
And I'm thinking, "That's right!" because obviously when the ladies look at us together they think I'm also cute. And although my hair is not very sunshine-y (more like a full moon), they subconsciously take it as a truism that I'm cute because I have a cute baby. Obviously.
So two days later I go back to Rite Aid to drop off another prescription, and the same pharmacist is sitting there, and in my head I say something smart and cute, like, "Don't I get a bear too?" But before I have a chance to say anything, she lifts her head and says, "Yes?!"
So I stutter a bit, "I… I have a prescription?"
And she looks at me like I just ran over her puppy, and she says, "Been here before?"
26 comments:
I take you didn't get a teddy bear then?
Your poor, poor little ego. Apparently, stardust doesn't count for jack.
Oh well, at least baby is a chick magnet.
Sucker.
Oh well. Yeah, they see a lot of people I guess and it's hard to remember them. But I'll bet if you had reminded her ("My baby LOVES the bear you gave him last week!") she would have remembered. And then MAYBE even remembered you next time you came in without the baby.
I know this pain all too well, my friend.
That's why I carry around full-sized pictures of my kids folded up in my pocket, for emergencies.
Chuckles... awww. I feel so sorry for you.
Yea, you're cute, I can see that on the entrecard.
But maybe you don't have the blue eyes that lady likes.
The Chick Magnet: Don't leave home without him.
Is it wrong that I laughed out loud? Do you hate me because of it?
You still have to love the woman, even though she didn't, uh, recognize you - because she compared your son to SUNSHINE! That's just awesome :)
Obviously!
SJ, I still have my dignity. I took my son's. That'll teach him.
Praying, it's not even that. I'm completely invisible around him.
Aimee, I suppose I can't complain. I got a teddy bear out of him.
Xbox, not for long. I'm going to get a shirt with an arrow pointing at him, and it will say, "He's got my eyes."
Jill, oh, I don't want to sound like a--what's the word--misanthrope, but I didn't care too much about whether this lady recognized me. I was just upset that--well, actually, is it time already to start living through my son? He's old enough. He can take the pressure.
Dan, "Yes, I've been here before. Maybe you remember my son, the sunshine? He-ll-o?" I should have complained to the manager. "This employee hurt my feelings by making me feel invisible and pathetic, and now I cry in the arms of a teddy bear."
Laane, I have blue eyes, but they're not like Mr. Sunshine's here. A friend of mine in high school once looked into my eyes and then said with all seriousness, "You know, you have the ugliest blue eyes I've ever seen."
Tom, Today he got me a teddy bear. Tomorrow, a free desert in a restaurant? I think I'd better keep him. It's a recession, after all. And I'm hungry.
Writer, nonono. I deserve it. I deserve your scorn. And I guess she deserves my love. Wait. You know what? No! I brought the sunshine into Rite Aid, the saddest place in America! I should get a medal! Or at least my own bear!
Mongolian, hey, I don't make the rules, you know? Obviously if I have a cute baby I must be cute. I didn't make him cute just to be viewed objectively, after all!
Damn, that´s harsh.
ooo, that must feel horrible. But, the... fast food mini-burger commerical is not as effective, the girls will not remember those guys. Not worth the investment.
Wallet pictures might solve your problem, you can show them anywhere and get the same response.
Bluestreak, win some lose some. My grandmother still thinks I'm cute.
Doctor, I didn't even see that one. I had to do a search (and appropriately, I found the video on Bitch Magazine site). I don't mean to contribute any more to the sexism in that ad, but if the pharmacist looked like any of these women, I would have a worn a t-shirt with Sunshine's face.
I remember when the babes would come out of the woodwork to google @ (me) and my cute baby boys...
funny thing is that i forgot that when i was younger and was dating being introduced to the mom&/or dad I always wondered (silently) how they could have made such a sexy delicious teenager.
{{sigh}}
hope that helps.
But you're right. Parents were always monstrous.
So I'm not cute because my baby is cute. And I'm not even invisible. I'm actually the monster they have to ignore to get to see my baby's blue eyes.
bring your kid all the time. lol. :)
I am a little worried that when I have a kid that it will have mine and my wife's worst features. I want a cute baby too!
dude, great story!
because I kinda claim some of his stardust. YOU DOG! ;p
Hey, man? Don't be twiggy the ladies on the usefulness of children for attracting female attention. That's kind of a violation of the male code, you know.
We're always getting free shit as well - usually candy. By we, I mean they give it to him and then I eat it.
Don't look at me that way.
Kikit, I've learned my lesson. Thing is, I take it as a compliment when people say he looks like me. That's how low I've gone. But I'll take what I can get.
Ben, just do what we did. You put the baby back inside, shake your wife a few times, then see what comes up. You should have seen the first few monsters we had. Phew.
Dusty, you see, I have blue eyes, but I don't have his blue eyes. People always ask where he got his eyes from, and we say he got them from me, and then they look at my eyes and--I don't know--shrug? You know when you're young and you go out with someone and you want to know what they'll look like when they're older? Well, I'll be his date's warning sign.
Freeman, I'm not looking at you that way. I stole his teddy bear, after all. (And I'm sorry, but I thought the women knew about the chick-magnetism. I'm sure they also all know that when a woman comes up to us I lower my head and say she smells like his mother who left us after he was born. Left us all alone).
So you alone appear unrecognized. That's too funny! Next time show up with the baby and see if the pharmacist is all googly-eyed again.
Thats ridiculous! I agree that you should take your son back with you just to see...
I've done that since, and I'm happy to report (although I'm not going to update the post) that it looks like the problem is with the pharmacist. She was very excited when we came, and said he was a beautiful baby. I think she just has a bad memory. Which means I might be visible after all! (it doesn't mean I'm cute, just that there's a chance I'm not a ghost).
she is cute...sure thing, daughter always has her daddy's heart and pride.
OH NO! And we just cut his hair last week!
(that's okay. We get that a lot. Last time I corrected someone she explained he was too cute to be a boy).
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