09 October 2008

About Me

A while ago, over at this website, they told me I needed an About Me page. And I guess it's fair enough. Someone getting here by accident needs some context. For example, Google "Eric Cantor douche." (You will currently find me at number 5, just before Wonkette's "Eric Cantor smells of cow dung." Really, for a long time I was number one for that search. For a long time I was also number one for "Glenn Beck naked." I know, pretty cool).

Anyway, I was born in Israel thirty-almost-six years ago.

There was a big war when I was nine months old. A lot of people died protecting the honor of nation who would not negotiate with its Egyptian enemy. Five years later the Egyptian enemy's President, Sadat, stood with the Israeli Prime Minister, Begin, to shake hands and later, to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Three years after that peace treaty, in a parade celebrating the war I witnessed as a nine-month-old, Sadat was shot dead. I was eight and I remember being sad as if a family member died.

So I'm now eight years old.

But it's getting a bit too long already. Let's cut some corners.

I went to school for many years. Nothing much happened there. I did my homework and shit.

Then I finished high school and had two weeks before I was supposed to join the military. So I read the Lord of the Rings books and then I joined the military.

That military thing was bullshit. I was in Golani. I met the biggest dicks in the world and I met selfless people I will live the rest of my life looking up to. But most of the time I carried heavy shit in the service of a false ideology. Hooray!

Three years later, a few months after I left the military, I moved to London. It was just a vacation, but I ended up staying. And I painted my hair purple.

I was there for five years. Working odd jobs, playing bass in a band, drinking. In late August in 1997, I went to Camden Town with the singer to give out some demo tapes. It was gray and nasty and it was the end of summer, and I told the singer that a day that started like that would surely end up bad.

So I met my American Girl that night, and two years later I moved with her to Brooklyn.

This crazy guy found two Pit Bulls tied to trees in Prospect Park, and gave them to our roommate. For some fucked up reason, he couldn't take care of them anymore, so we took over.

Then we got married. Then we moved to Silver Spring. Then to Baltimore.

I'm not a scientist, so I can't say exactly how this works, but one day Honey peed on a stick, and now we have a baby.

That's the short version. But there's so much more. Like introspective stuff about searching for my role and the meaning of it all. And I hate the fucking mall.

It's getting late.

(Oh, and my email is


A Free Man said...

Not a bad About Me at all. I had worked a lot of it out by reading your posts, but good to see it all in one place. That boy's looking pretty good looking these days, by the way.

Bluestreak said...

Nice work. I haven´t been reading you for that long, so this helps me orient myself a bit and will make your posts make a lot more sense, so thanks.

SJ said...

What no photo of your son ?

Now I wonder if you I can get you to post a pic of you with purple hair... I am sado-masochistic in that way.

Aimeepalooza said...

Awesome about you thing! I love Pit Bulls, crappy days and babies!

Sornie said...

Wait a minute, babies are made by a woman peeing on a stick? Huh.

Woozie said...

When you left Silver Spring it was probably all ghetto-y and unattractive. That place has really turned around; if you haven't seen it lately it's quite impressive.

We require pictures of purple haired Sunshine.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Wow. I didn't know most of that--well, Baltimore, your son, pit bulls, but I think that is it.

People in the Sun said...

Man, thanks. Glad you liked it. I probably should have done it earlier in the day, though. What's going on there? There's some stuff about a douchebag, and the President of Egypt, and Glenn Beck naked. And it ends with a rhyme. ?.

Bluestreak, thank you for reading and commenting. It means everything to have people come here without knowing anything about me and reading what I have to say.

SJ, that's him, the little guy at the bottom. The cute thing on the high chair.

I actually looked for purple-hair photos but couldn't find any. I didn't have a camera during these five years because I felt having a camera would stop me from experiencing stuff. I know. Pretty stupid. I have other people's copies of London pictures, like the one I put here, but you can't really tell it's purple. The hair is long, though.

Aimee, thanks. Babies are fun! And Pit Bulls are fun, too! And crappy days are also fun sometimes!

Sornie, what do I know? Maybe it's all in the aim?

Woozie, it was actually too attractive for us to afford. The new fancy movie theater opened, and the Disocvery building was almost finished, and all the Bethesda yuppies were moving in, and our lease was up and we just couldn't afford the rent anymore. So we looked for another place to rent in the area, but no one would let us in with two Pit Bulls. So we came up with the idea of buying a house in Baltimore. Of course, at the time, everyone was approved for a house loan. I wonder how that whole thing ended up.

And I told SJ about the purple thing. I have a nice photo somewhere here. Not so purple, but I'm wearing a silk purple shirt, which is also something. At the time, I loved that shirt more than anything else in the world. Thank God Honey won't allow me to buy clothes anymore.

Enemy, cool. Or am I giving away too much?

Puff Matty said...

Peed on a stick, I like that. The companies that make those always show happy couples in the commercials. Never the peeps like me and my ex-wife "Oh DAMN!!" Nahh, everything turned out fine after the divorce....wait, i'm rambling again....

People in the Sun said...

Matty, maybe they know the unhappy couples who need to buy the sticks will end up buying a few of these without advertising, just in case the first few tests showed false positives.

Simon said...

Hi People - I think you should give your fans what they want. They want a picture of you with purple hair and you can give them one. You have Photoshop, don't you? We've moved on from that 'camera doesn't lie' stuff.

Thanks for the excellent 'about' post! It helps to have the jigsaw put together at last. And congratulations to your son on now having more hair than John McCain.

coooper said...

Well you know those in the know say every good blogger has an "about page".

Short but sweet, and quite complete.

When you can shove all that into just a few paragraphs and make it entertaining and still give it an air of completeness you are a good writer.


thewishfulwriter said...

Purple hair always leads to baby making.

there's your science.

purple hair = babies.

I didn't even major in science, but I'm fairly certain that's true.

People in the Sun said...

Simon, here's a joke I heard: A woman goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman says, "I'll give you one."

But man, now I realize I have a lot in common with McCain...

Coooper, thanks. I hope it's not too complete, otherwise I might as well stop (or turn this into a What My Baby Did Today blog).

Writer, but I didn't have purple hair when that baby was made! Unless the process takes about ten years, in which case I'm definitely the father!

Woozie said...

Even though nobody's buying or leasing anything in the area, they're still putting up townhouses and condos on every corner. It's madness!

Okay now we definitely require pictures.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

I started reading your blog last week, but didn't realize you were from Israel-- my inlaws moved there from the US after 9/11.

Love your blog.

People in the Sun said...

Woozie, I hated it with passion. It was the first time I didn't live in a big city, and the idea of having to drive everywhere depressed me. And the neighbors mowed the lawn only up to this invisible border and then they stopped, which made our lawn look stupid, and people with chihuahuas were mean to my Pit Bulls and I got into fights and Honey didn't like that, but people can't be mean to my dogs.

Girl, hey! Thanks! I hope I don't disappoint you.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Peeing on sticks causes babies...better be careful when going camping I guess...

I was in middle school (7th or 8th grade) when Sadat was shot and got accused of cheating over it. We had an assignment to write about a current even that night and of course that was the big news & my best friend and I each wrote about it. Then they called us in for cheating the next day even though I don't think we even knew what that the other had written about until the following day.

Also, I think you're up to number three on the Eric Cantor thing. :-)

Anyway, a very nice post!

Hazel Jones said...


I'm Hazel Jones and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I'm contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

If you are interested, kindly mail back at, indicating your blog for reference, and I'll send you back pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.


Hazel Jones

People in the Sun said...

Jill, look at that, I'm now number two! Every once in a while this douche comes out and says something outrageous, and immediately I get traffic because people actually Google "Eric Cantor Douche," which strengthens my hope in humanity.

Hazel, thanks, but I kinda don't have ads here. I should put an email button somewhere, though.

OMYWORD! said...

Well hell, after laughing and smiling while reading About You, I hit the RSS button and YOU WERE ALREADY IN MY FEED. See what a bad friend I am? Sigh. So, I love you, I swear, even though I forgot you. Story of your life, right? (And mine)

People in the Sun said...

Thanks, Omyword. So you just forgot about me? And I thought I offended you by using bad words like pee, poop and Palin.

JK said...

Very funny blog, guess that will learn you to mess with Dan's kids eh?
Thanks for following me on twitter, I won't cry if you unfollow me due to me being boring and or offensive. I too hate the fucking mall, with a passion.

People in the Sun said...

Oh no... I didn't write anything bad about Dan or his kids, right? Other than his sign causing the Ravens to lose the game.

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails