A few days ago, on a political blog, I commented that no matter what happens, this is going to be a historic election because either an African-American becomes President or a woman becomes Vice President, and no matter what happens, this is historical, blablabla.

Well, I take it back. Saying Palin's nomination is historic because she's a woman is like saying the last eight years have been historic because it was the first time an idiot man-child has been allowed to rule a nation.

How embarrassing is this semi-empty convention? After last week's high, watching it end with Obama's girl standing next to Biden's granddaughter, both laughing together, marveling at the confetti, I thought I would lose my cynicism forever. Thank you, Governor Palin, for restoring my faith in the absurd.

On another political site, I commented that this "energized" convention seems more like a high school reunion. I then added that everyone there, funny enough, looks like everyone you beat up in school.

But I was wrong there, too. It's these people, but it's also the despicable asses that push ahead of you in line at the airport. Know what I mean? Like these guys:

(Yes, these members of the party of rich whites are laughing hysterically at the words, "Community Organizer").

And the crazy women that the moment you met them in high school you knew exactly what every minute of their future lives would be. Like this gal:

It's a fucking cult.

And you know what? If the rigged voting machines end up giving McCain and Crazy Pursed Lips Woman the White House, then so be it. Call it the reverse story of Sodom. Because it's enough that one person in this country is voting Republican to make us all guilty. Because it's enough that we see these people in airports and at the extended family dinner table ("Let's not talk about politics") and in baseball games and state fairs and even on the other side of a TV screen, and we don't immediately lie on the floor pleading to God or to Natural Selection, saying, "Please, forgive them--they know not what they do. Take me instead. Yes, they are racist and sexist, and yes they cherish American lives more than the lives of Arabs in Iraq, and they cherish the lives of Republicans more than those of Democrats, and they cherish the lives of fetuses more than the lives of living people. But if we live side by side with them, then don't we all deserve the same fate? Don't we all deserve to suffer together?" Motherfuckers.

See, the cynicism is back, thank God. I've seen more enthusiastic people at insurance conferences when they found out New Orleans residents were never covered for flood damage. I've seen people more energized at friendly ping pong tournaments. And Joe Lieberman, oy vey! Remembering Democrats pretending to like you in 2000 makes me think of being arrested after going to a prostitute, and then finding out she's a man. Lieberman, tonight, we're all Eddie Murphy!

And there's still a whole day left! I bet we'll see a lot more of this guy: