Ten Years

Ten years ago today we met. I already wrote about that day here, but ended that post with my date taking a cab back home.

I'll never forget, the next day, seeing Honey sitting outside the tube station waiting for me (even though I was early). We sat outside a bar, across the street from the Dublin Castle and then we went to see Swingers. That's our movie. We continued walking in Camden for a while and I asked her if she wanted to come over and watch TV. I swear that's what I meant, too. I just figured she was fun and it would be fun to watch King of the Hill with her.

We then listened to music and didn't talk much. Then "Broken Heart" started playing and Honey started to cry. And I said, "I'm going to regret this," and I kissed her.

I've tried to analyze this moment for the last ten years, and historians will continue my unfinished work, but I'm still not sure why I said that or what made me kiss her, just like she's not sure why she started to cry.

Did my kiss have anything to do with subconscious male chauvinism? Did I think she wanted me to kiss her because of some kind of male fantasy of a weak female saved by her superhero man? Did her tears make me feel stronger? Was my kiss meant to save my princess? That bastard Jung made me think about that. I read Man and his Symbols and realized maybe I didn't kiss her because I was a sensitive man but because I was an arrogant pig like the rest of them.

But I can leave all of that for the historians. Whether she cried because the idea of going back alone to America was breaking her heart or because on King of the Hill Bobby was forced to smoke an entire carton of cigarettes doesn't matter today. And whether I kissed her because I wanted to save her or because I wanted her to save me is also meaningless, after all. Because now, ten years later, the love of my life is smarter, funnier, and more beautiful than ever, and I've had the best ten years of my life, and our best days together are yet to come.

And she's pregnant, too, which is really cool. And more than likely, I'm the father.

Dude, Where's My Hair?

First of all, thank you all for sticking around and commenting this past week. I was away in suburban Boston for about a week for Honey's father's family reunion.

• A few cousins and I kicked a ball around and decided to have a friendly four-v-four game of soccer. I learned a few things: 1. I don't know the meaning of a friendly game (sorry, Steven). 2. I'm very very old. The game started with me running up and down the field, passing, blocking, kicking... like I was ten-years-old again. Two minutes later I said I had to become the goalkeeper. A minute later, even that was too much. I was lying in the field waiting for the vultures to collect. And here was this Steven, a man in his forties, running like it was the most normal thing in the world for a grown man to move about freely. I'd like to think the kicks he got from me were genuine attempts to get the ball and not just products of my tired body and jealous soul. I need to get in shape.

• About a hundred people there, most of them strangers to me and many of them strangers to each other, each standing up in turn, introducing him/herself and explaining the connection to the family. I had about twenty minutes to think about what to say. I was going to say my name and then say it had been almost exactly ten years since I met the first member of the family (Honey), and how great it was to be a part of the family, and all that, but before I got the mike, it was Honey's turn. "My name is... I'm the daughter of..., the granddaughter of... [standing up], and as you can see, I'm on my sixth month, soon to give birth to the newest member of the family." [Applause]. So what's a man to do? Was there anything else I could have said other than, "My name is... [now pointing at Honey's belly]. And I put it there."

• A distant cousin, on the way back home:

"I heard you lived in England for a while. What were you doing there?"
"Nothing much. I was playing in a band."
"Oh, really? What instrument?"
"Bass guitar."
"Ahhh, that's great. Me and my brother were talking the other day about how each part of the female body is a different musical instrument. Like, the head is, you know, and the breast is a snare drum, Tss, t-t-tss, t-t-tss, t-t-tss, you know? And the ass in like a bass guitar, gau, gau-gau, gau-gau, doom doo-doom doom doom. Know what I mean?"

And we still had 700 miles to go to Baltimore.

Doubts of a Future Father Concerning the Raising of a First Child, or How to Pack Your Picnic Packpack

I can’t cook. I’m tired. I don’t know how to hold a baby. Don’t know how to change diapers. Teach it Hebrew? Will it have a Baltimore accent? Raise it Jewish? What if it’s sick? What if I drop it? What if it’s stupid? How is it going to change me? What if Honey never feels better? What if she resents me? What if it ruins her career? Will we really have to do all this camping stuff? Private or public school? Stay in Baltimore City? I don’t mind going to see children’s movies, and I definitely don’t mind going to the zoo, but I can’t listen to bad children’s music. I’ll never have time to write. Never have time to discover new music. Never have time to relax. To think.

But hopefully, as you can see from Jr.'s results below, my troubles will be over at a certain point. Early retirement, Beverly Hills, here I come!

And just one more thing Before I go away for a week: Did some basement organizing last week. We need to throw away a lot of stuff that’s never left the basement to make room for new stuff that will never leave the basement. Found this unopened wedding present, a picnic packpack, complete with instructions. See you in a week.

Blogging Tips

I've been tagged by the ever-so-helpful Revellian, Mr. Nice Guy himself, Bobby Revell. This one is about blogging tips. I'm relatively new at this (or is 10 months a long time in blogging?), but I did notice one thing: I get people coming here from Google searches (no, there are no naked pictures of Glenn Beck here), and I get Stumble Upon surfers here, but the people who read the posts and comment are mainly the people whose blogs I visit and comment on. Now, I wouldn't leave a comment if I didn't have anything to say, so how do I find the blogs I'd be interested in following? That's pretty simple and straightforward, and it beats anything else I've tried on my quest for great, honest writing.

You go to one blog you like, leave a comment, and then you follow the links until you find another great blog, and you leave a comment there. The next day you can start from that second blog. Leave comments, make links on your own blog, and surf through other people's links. Page Rank and Technorati standing and all that stuff may be important but in the end each link, each blog, is a person, and an honest comment on an honest post creates a human connection. Get-rich-quick scams come and go, and blogs created for the sole purpose of making money don't bother me at all, but in the end it's the honest writing that makes the virtual blogging community more real and close and tangible than many physical communities.

So thanks Bobby, and thanks to everyone who's ever left a comment. Now here's some cut-and-paste:

-Start Copy-

It’s very simple. When this is passed on to you, copy the whole thing, skim the list and put a * star beside those that you like. (Check out especially the * starred ones.)

Add the next number (1. 2. 3. 4. 5., etc.) and write your own blogging tip for other bloggers.

Try to make your tip general.

After that, tag 10 other people. Link love some friends!

Just think– if 10 people start this, the 10 people pass it onto another 10 people, you have 100 links already!

When this is passed on to you, copy the whole thing, check out the blogs on the list and put a * star beside those that you like. Add the next number (1. 2. 3. 4. 5., etc.) and write your own blogging tip for other bloggers. Try to make your tip general. After that, tag 10 other people. Link love some friends! Just think– if 10 people start this, the 10 people pass it onto another 10 people, you have 100 links already! Here are the tips:

1. Look, read, and learn. ***
http://www.neonscent.com

2. Be, EXCELLENT to each other. ***
http://www.bushmackel.com/

3. Don’t let money change ya! ***
http://www.therandomforest.info

4. Always reply to your comments. ****
http://chattiekat.com

5. Spell check is your friend. **
http://thingsbymike.com

6. Be the blog. ***
http://www.meandmydrum.com/

7. Your readers are your treasure.
http://www.brownbaron.com/blog/***

8. Blog about what you know & love.
http://sugar-queens-dream.blogspot.com/*****

9. Don’t use filthy language-buy a dictionary.
http://shinade.blogspot.com/*

10. Whenever possible, spread some positive thoughts and love. The world needs more of them.
http://ailema4ever.blogspot.com/*****

11. Write down from your heart or head. Either way asks yourself why you ever get started.
http://chocmintgirl.blogspot.com/**

12. Try to make your template something unique and easy to look. Your template gives the blogger identity as much as the post content.
http://psychosomaticwit.blogspot.com/***

13. Take risks creatively with your writing. You’d be surprised how little it takes to bring out the poet or novelist in you.
http://remedialrumination.blogspot.com/***

14. Find your own voice! Your writing should reflect your unique personality. Don’t ever try to be something you’re really not just because you think you have to in order to get people to read your blog.
http://gazing-into-the-abyss.blogspot.com/**

15. When you’re trying to think of a new great post, or deep in thought on how to make it better, just remember - trying is crap. Trying to think is worthless. Thinking is the greatest single hindrance to a writer. Relax, don’t try to think. Let go of your thought and ego. Only then is real thought able to naturally flow on it’s own, without being consciously driven. Just a little something not to think about:)
http://revellian.com/**

16. If you like a blog, follow the links. You're most likely to find your next favorite blog waiting for you on another blog's sidebar.
http://www.peopleinthesun.com/*

–End Copy–

Tagged:

http://allthatcomeswithit.com/

http://jenfreedom.blogspot.com/

http://www.cafeleone.net/

http://midlife-journey.blogspot.com/

http://jsridhar.blogspot.com/

http://shellis-sentiments.com/

http://www.un-loaded.com/

http://wonderlandornot.net/

http://blogtalkingpoints.blogspot.com/

http://whohijackedourcountry.blogspot.com/