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28 March 2007

My New Job II


So in my new job I have to wear a tie. You know this world exists, and you know some of your neighbors live in that world and follow its deranged logic, but until you step into this environment you have no idea what’s it really about. Apparently, ties have to match your clothes. Your shoes as well. Everything has to match.

It’s this whole new culture that exists under your nose, but unless you’re a part of it you simply have no idea what’s it about and how prevalent it is. You just live your own life as if it’s the only possible way to live, not thinking for a second there are others all around you who do heroin, or sharpen their teeth and dress like vampires, or practice voodoo, or have crazy orgies, or wear ties.

I get compliments on the ties Honey bought me. People ask me about brands and stuff. I search for a label.

“Nautica? Is that the brand? Nautica?”

“Ahh, Nautica is good,” they say.

One of the guys straightened my tie today. Apparently this thin piece of cloth has to be centered.

Personally, looking at tie patterns make me dizzy. I’m not even mentioning fun ties; that’s a whole new type of evil I’m too scared to get into. What’s going on here? Who randomly decided men can only look professional if their upper body is divided symmetrically by patterns? I would have loved to be in on that meeting.

21 March 2007

Love


1997. Watching The Orb play in the dance tent in Glastonbury Festival. After “Little Fluffy Clouds,” a young woman turned around and asked if I could hug her. We hugged for a moment and then continued dancing. We walked around for a while. She told me she was so excited earlier and so alone that she had to hug someone, and I looked harmless and I had kind eyes, apparently. We met her friends. We ate fries. Her name was Joe. She was studying in a college in Canterbury. We walked for hours in the warm June evening, surrounded by love. In the end, we hugged again and kissed and said goodbye.

I’m happy it didn’t go any further because it was so special and so uniquely perfect. But on the other hand, if we see love in front of us how dare we let it go? Two months later I met my American Honey and this time I held on.

Maybe love is the key to happiness rather than a goal in and by itself. Of course, I don’t know anything about anything, so there’s a good chance I might be wrong. Maybe love is the goal, and happiness is found in serving love. I digress.

12 March 2007

On the Israel-Lebanon War and the Possible US Escalation in Iraq (or, Just Say No)


A short while ago I wrote a post about my army service in the West Bank. This wasn't simply a redemption piece but also an attempt to reflect on the situation American soldiers face in Iraq. Like them, I was certain I was doing the right thing, and like them, I thought everything I was doing was done in the (self-)defense of my country. Similarly, the implications of the recent Israeli war in Lebanon should be considered with Iraq in mind.

Like the US, the Israeli army was undoubtedly going in with superior military force for what was supposed to be a short offensive, and like in Iraq, it was immediately shown to be a mistake. Many Israeli soldiers died, attacks on Israeli civilians increased, and radical Islamic forces legitimized their relative control. A month into the conflict, the Israeli government was forced to choose what many considered the best of two evils: a retreat or an escalation.

Now, as Americans are divided about the future in Iraq, and as Democratic hopefuls are still afraid of saying the US should leave immediately, it is important to see what happened after the Israeli army left Lebanon. First, and most importantly, the number of casualties on both sides, including civilians, was about 2000 for the one month of conflict (between mid-July and mid-August of 2006). There is no reason to think this trend would have decreased if the fighting had continued at the same pace, and an escalation would have undoubtedly only increased the number of fatalities.

Second, as one of the reasons for remaining in Iraq is a flawed domino theory that scares us into thinking a retreat would destroy American prestige and, more importantly, its power of deterrence, we can first look at the current situation, where the war has created a diminishing American military might, encouraging other nations to rise up, at least rhetorically, against US hegemony. And second, we need to look again at Israel. Retreating after one month from the Lebanon mistake did not diminish Israeli hegemony in the region. If anything, Israel has since regained the power it had lost during the war. Moreover, while the war helped legitimize the Hezbollah, its victory did not create the nightmare scenario the Israeli government was advancing before the war to convince the public this was a no-choice war. Neither Hezbollah nor Syria have any more control over the Lebanese government then they did before, and the risk of Israeli destruction or of future attacks has not grown.

When Democratic hopefuls are asked about their solution for the war, they often either avoid the question by stating the obvious (It's Bush's mess), or endorse a phased, "dignified" withdrawal. This is not enough, not anymore. When the Republican keyboard warriors come with catchy, meaningless slogans like Cut-and-Run, the answer should be Study the Israel-Lebanon War. Sure, it's not as catchy, but it happens to be the truth. When the Israeli government chose retreat over escalation, it put the safety of its citizens first and political prestige second. The future leaders of America should have the courage to do the same.

06 March 2007

My New Job

I have a new job. The girl who trains me says marijuana kills.
“It doesn’t… really…” I say.
“No. But if you’re high and you drive then you can kill someone. So marijuana kills.”

You can’t argue with great logic like that.

She shows me a picture of her trip to the Philippines.

“What do you see in the picture?” she asks.
“A mountain?”
“No.”
“It sure looks like a mountain. It’s not a volcano?”
“Yes,” she says. “It’s a volcano.”
“Then…”
“You said mountain.”
“But… A volcano is a mountain. It’s just got a hole in the middle.”
“Well, it’s a volcano, not a mountain.”

She shows me how to write my notes: “Just read my example and copy my notes.”

So I read Contract recieved and signed.

“Wait… ” Because I’m new, you see, and I’m not in a position to stand out as That Guy. But of course, I am that guy, and I can’t help myself, being an English Major and all… “I think in received the E comes before the I.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“I thought so too, but that’s how I’ve been told to write the notes, so…”
“But it’s a spelling mistake. I mean…”
“It’s not a big deal.”

No, it’s not.

02 March 2007

Glenn Beck: Worst Person in the World

"I've got some time and a camera."

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