Song Lyrics

I used to care about song lyrics. It’s not all bad, don’t get me wrong. For example, I’m happy I don’t get excited over Billy Joel’s lyrics anymore. “They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it’s better than drinking alone.” I copied that one into my high school planner and circled it a few times for effect. And also Dire Straits: “There's so many different worlds, So many different suns. And we have just one world, But we live in different ones.” It rhymes, it’s catchy, it’s got it’s own inner logic, but… Thank God I’m not a teenager anymore.

But what about the good stuff? The other day I played “Cars” by Built to Spill, and remembered sitting in the rented appartment in London in my early twenties, listening to people talk about the beauty of lyrics, and I remembered them playing that song again and again saying they, too, would like to see movies of their dreams. That, I miss.

Maybe it’s not about age but about the weight of life. Unbearable lightness my ass. You move a few times, sometimes in the same city, then across the ocean to another continent. You deal with jobs and with crazy bosses and insane co-workers. You search for love. You drink. You smoke and spend the rest of your life trying to quit. You have sex. You spend time and energy trying to have more sex. You buy stuff. You lose pens and lighters. You deal with the plumber and you argue with the cable company. You always get screwed by the local garage. Always. You get sick and healthy and sick again. You do your taxes.

And then, before you know it, you forget you used to wish you could see movies of your dreams.

Life is funny like that.

Should prostitution be legal anywhere?

Gave my two cents again:

Who are we kidding? In our hypocritical war for the preservation of perceived values we don't dare legalize prostitution (or drugs, for that matter). After all, why risk the wrath of the blind conservatives who are unable to see themselves as "the other" when we can let people do what they want while keeping the right to take them into custody whenever we choose and hide them in our leper-colony-like prisons.

How does a prostitute view the system? How does she view us who go online to debate the legality of her life like the Gods in Acropolis, high and mighty with our borrowed opinions based on borrowed world-views? Where were we when her father abused her? Where were we when she failed her exams? Where were we when advertisements promised her a life she would never have? Where were we when she lost her life opportunities? Where were we when she made a beautiful drawing above a beautifully written journal entry? Where were we when she wanted to learn to play an instrument? Where were we when she had a chance to be somebody? Where were we when she grew up to face a choice between making an easy five hundred a day or making $6.50 an hour in McDonald's?

Should prostitution be legal? I have a better question: How come prostitution is illegal while giving people $6.50 an hour is legal? And how long can we keep pretending we all have choices in this world?

My Aunt's Butt

When I was a kid, my aunt used to go around her house naked. I still remember the nausea I felt every time I visited my cousins. I remember a tan line above a butt, and I remember feeling uncomfortable.

She was a recent widow, still a young woman in what top scientists (including NASA engineers) say is the peak of a woman’s sexuality. There were many “uncles.” The only light she had in her room was a red bedside lamp. Not much subtlety there.

I wonder if there’s a hidden trauma somewhere in that whole story. Wouldn’t that be great? To be able to discover a trauma after twenty-five years and be able to blame my aunt for my failures? She doesn’t necessarily have to take the blame for all of it; some of my failures I could still pin on my dad, but maybe some sexual dysfunctions could be attributed to her? That skinny white butt must be responsible for something.

Character Assassination

Following a story published by Greg Garland in the Baltimore Sun and picked up by various papers in the DC/Baltimore area, it looks as though Kenneth Montague has finally been defeated. The latest smear piece in Garland's personal vendetta implies Montague has used his position as the Secretary of Juvenile Services in Maryland for a coast to coast dream vacation.

There are no outright lies in Garland's character assassination. This is merely an insinuation of corruption, nothing more. Nothing libelous in here.

So what do we have here? Actually, it's easier to see what we don't have in this story. There are no lobbyist-sponsored golf trips and no private jets. There are no brown envelopes and no Jacuzzis overflowing with champagne. What we do have is the story of a Democrat appointed by a Republican for the nearly impossible job of revamping a huge bureaucracy while fending off political punches from Democrats and Republicans on the one hand, and trying his best to do a job while a reporter builds a career out of smear pieces on the other hand.

At some point, after repeated, politically motivated attacks, Ehrlich had made a decision to ignore The Sun. Determined to concentrate on the job at hand, Montague also refused to speak to the Sun. Then the attacks begun.

There were stories of overcrowding and fights in juvenile detention facilities. Some were true, most occurred before Ehrlich and O'Malley took over, all were sensationalized by Garland while any attempt to reform a broken system was ignored. There were other stories involving courageous whistle blowing inspectors who told Garland about the terrible conditions they found. Small details such as Ehrlich and Montague ordering these reports were ignored. That findings did not take later reforms into consideration was also ignored.

Ehrlich lost the elections, but Montague was still a candidate to continue to be the Secretary under O'Malley. Garland and the editors of The Sun could not see that happen. So they dug deep into the files, searching for a hidden Abramoff or a Duke Cunningham, or at least a small vacation on a cruise ship to the Bahamas. Surely they could get something.

To their disappointment, The Sun's researchers could only find learning trips, each with its itinerary and learning points well documented in neat folders. Still, what the hell, The Sun went with the piece. After all, if there wasn't a scandal, they were going to create one. It didn't matter that other Maryland State Secretaries joined Montague in these conferences, and it didn't matter that other states' Juvenile Services Secretaries were there. All the Sun needed to finish Montague's career was a non-story; a hint of corruption which never existed was enough. While Montague was busy traveling from one city to another, bringing ideas and solutions back to Maryland, The Sun was busy destroying him. Finally, it looks like they may have succeeded.

Kenneth Montague resigned today.

Which Religion is the Right One for Me? Which One Comes a Close Second?

So I visited Bun-Girl and found this religion quiz. A guy from work also did that so I said what the hell. I got my answer:

On Faith: Is the Iraq war "just"?

President Bush is preparing this week to send more troops to Baghdad. Do you believe there is such a thing as a "just war"? Is the Iraq war "just"?

Interesting that you pose a question about Bush's plans in a column about faith, because only those who think of Bush as a god believe this plan will work. Those who have faith in peace, those who have faith in justice, and those who have faith in truth never wanted this war.

As to the issue of a just war, we should only base our judgments on specific acts, not on vague words. The war on drugs turns otherwise law-abiding people into criminals and creates a lucrative but deadly underground business, but the war on poverty wishes to elevate people in accordance with humane standards.

The problem, of course, appears when we discuss WWII. But again, we must review what WWII was that the Iraq war isn't. If WWII was about saving a nation, three continents, and the conscience of the US, the war in Iraq is the exact opposite: The nation we were supposed to help is now suffering even more, the continent we were supposed to stabilize is in total chaos, and the American people who see the way events unfold in their name and with their money find it hard to stare at their collective reflection.

Maybe in the Future

Where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?

T. S. Eliot wrote that.

Maybe in the future I will write something meaningful as well.

Once, I wrote a short essay that made people cry; that’s something. It talked about my dad. Two pages about my dad and about how he reacted when I told him a friend of mine died, and how I suddenly realized I had been expecting too much of him; that he was just a normal, vulnerable, confused person who found himself in a situation where he had to console someone who was expecting him to cure his sadness. Something like that. You can find it here. I was a better writer then.

Hey, is that The Flaming Lips?

Tali Fahima is Free

“You don't make peace with friends. You make it with very unsavory enemies.” -- Yitzhak Rabin


In a holy land far away, 30 year-old Tali Fahima is free again, after spending more than two years in jail for "meeting enemy agents and passing information to them." Although Fahima admitted to this charge in a plea deal, this was quite a reduction from the initial charge of planning a terrorist attack in Israel. If anything, the reduction in charges and the relatively quick release of a person initially branded a first-rate traitor make Fahima's side of the story seem very plausible. She admits to meeting the Islamic Jihad member, Zakaria Zubeidi, because she had been curious to learn about her supposed enemy, but denies involvement in terrorist attacks. She also denies the Israeli Secret Service portrayal of her as a "terrorist's whore" who was, according to Israeli media reports pregnant with Zubeidi's child.

After the deliberate propaganda attacks on Fahima's character, done with the aim of delegitimizing all attempts for grass-roots conversations with perceived enemies. In a place with relatively justified fear, fueled by suicide bombings, Hezbollah rockets, and in part by a long history of persecution, it's no wonder many in Israel still see Fahima as a back-stabbing traitor. But in a place with so much propaganda, where in fact, so much is determined upon public opinion and public support for a military draft to get soldiers to maintain the Palestinian territories, it's refreshing to find many supporters of Fahima's attempt to understand for herself what the hell is really going on around her, and what is being done to others in her name.

Here are some translated comments from the Maariv newspaper website. This is just a selection to show both sides. In reality most comments were written against Fahima, but as you'll see, there's not much content in these comments. A Right-Wing nutcase is the same everywhere in the world:

Not only she's a traitor, she's also ugly and stupid.

A real hero who has paid dearly for her struggle against the occupation.

Only an Arab will touch this ugly monkey.

An amazing woman. A true idealist.

If you care so much about Palestinians why don't you just become a Muslim?

Tali is a special woman with real principals and a true wish to reach a peaceful solution.

No Jew wanted her so she went to an Arab.

Well done for the courage to walk this difficult path for what her beliefs. From the beginning it was clear she was didn't do anything wrong. She was never a threat to Israeli security, only to the way Israelis think.

Just looking at her makes me sick.

Tali, well done for your courage to take on yourself the obvious consequences of walking tall against the grain, the courage of declaring the emperor has no clothes and the entire history of Israeli security is nothing but a deliberate crime, the courage to ignore the right-wing, militant, blind public, the courage to try to understand the motives behind those being occupied sacrificing their doomed lives, the courage to stand against the Israeli Secret Service and their media partners, the courage to expose the Israeli Secret Service torture mechanism, the courage to pay the price alone. You deserve all the praise you get.

Anyone who opposes the policy of air rockets on Palestinian militants is risking the life of my family and my own life. We should have killed the traitor terrorist Fahima.