My New Job VI: New Year Edition
In mid-late 2003, I came up with what I thought was the funniest joke ever: At the time, the military in Iraq was giving out these cards with Saddam Hussein as the Ace of Spades to help catch him and the rest of them evil-doers, and then when they still couldn’t find him, the military put out these Wanted posters with Saddam's face all over Baghdad, but they still couldn’t find him. So I thought maybe to make it easier, what they needed next was to build a giant statue of Saddam in the center of the town.
That was it. I really thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever thought of. I remember thinking I should have given it to The Daily Show and they would use it with the footage from the toppling of Saddam's statue, but in reverse. Something like that. I would have left the details to them. Obviously this would have been only the beginning of my relationship with The Daily Show. Buzz on the street about my joke would have taken care of the rest.
Kinda missed the boat on that one, though. He got caught and my dreams were shattered. One day… One day I will come up with another joke, you’ll see.
In other news, I quit my job, effective today.
21 comments:
I'm assuming the quitting of the job is a good thing, if so congratulations.
And the joke is pretty cool.
I once had the same problem with a joke that had everyone I told it to rolling for about a minute. I was going to send it to Dave Chappelle, but that commie had to go to Africa. I've since forgotten the joke :(
Do we get to know why you quit?
That's a good joke and would have worked visually too...
Happy new year and new job
Sounds like good things on the horizon??? I hope so anyway!
I predict much success for you in your future endeavors, although perhaps not in the joke-writing department.
You quit your job and I am going to live vicariously through you. Here's to an already brighter 2008!
durante vita
Well here's to you striking comic gold in 08.
The job never sounded like anything your heart was into anyway. Obviously it was all for the better. At least in time I think it will be.
Lol! That's a good one. The perfect blend of sarcasm and wit.
Have an excellent new years "dad." :)
Congrats on quitting, I guess LOL
Happy new year!!!!!!
That is HILARIOUS. But I'm still glad they caught the bastard.
Happy new year, y'all.
Dan (and Woozie and anyone who asked), quitting is great, thanks. It was a fascinating job but I didn't make enough money, working conditions were awful, and it had the potential of being dangerous. Everything together means that with a newborn I couldn't stay there. I was there for a year and a few days (if I include my leave), and it will be the most intense, stressful, and challenging year I've had, in term of work. But there was no way I could have stayed there. So it's a good thing.
Woozie, if only he got your email in time, you could have had a slice of those $40,000,000 and save Chappelle from a nervous breakdown, and save America from settling for Carlos Mancia.
SJ, thanks. But no new job yet. Might be something new soon. Something ridiculous. One of those "People make money doing that?"-type jobs. I hope.
Aimeepalooza, thanks. The good thing is mainly feeding the baby and cleaning his poop while I'm home. And finding something mindless to do to make money while I continue writing the piece of crap book I've been writing for ten years.
Mr. Fab, Honey's grandma was born with her shirt on, and she predicts success. Were you born with your shirt on? Didn't think so. --I mean, I've known her for ten years and she's been saying that all this time. Now, I don't know what it means either, but apparently she has the gift. Then again, she predicted Liam would be born the day after he was actually born, so I'm not so sure.
Durante, if you want to live vicariously through me you also have to go to sleep at 2am every night and wake up at 2:15 because someone is uncomfortable. And then you have to take care of him for an hour until he falls asleep to the sound of running water, and then you put him back in the bassinet and he starts screaming again. Repeat as necessary.
Ricardo, I'm sure it's for the best. It's a shame, because it was really interesting and I learned a lot about myself and about the world, and all that, but in the end, I have to do the right thing, which meant leaving. Good luck to you, too.
Dave, thanks. My son has experienced his first Christmas and first new year. It's crazy. And his hands are much bigger. And he smiles. You also have a good year.
Mel, you too. Quitting feels weird, especially after I was fired from my previous job, but it's the right thing to do. And Liam's happy. I think.
Christine, yep... I wish capturing him would have made the area safer, and for a moment I actually thought it might. I remember thinking that as much as I hated the war, this had the chance of turning things around. But in the end, he wasn't a symbol and his capture and his hanging weren't turning points. He became just another dead body in Iraq.
Wow, quit your job. I know I have no idea what's going on, but I hope that's a good thing! :)
He's here :D :D :D
Mazzeltov !
He's so cute.
Ya'all have a wonderful 2008
(sorry for posting this in the wrong blogposting but I figure you'd see it here first)
Quitting a job is fun - I usually get fired.
Delicious, you're not missing much of the plot. One day I had a job, and the next day I didn't. Lasted over a year, which is cool, especially as all of my co-workers thought I wouldn't last a day. Many people leave on the first day. Most leave within a month. It was that kind of job.
Tsedek, any place you choose to wish me good things is a good place. Was this sentence grammatically correct? And thanks. He's pretty goddamn cute. Here's to 2008!
Ben, in my last job I really wanted to quit but decided to wait it out until they got sick of me standing around and fired me. So I collected unemployment for a few months (and started a blog) but it was really depressing to look for a job after getting fired, even from a horrible job. Next time you start a new job, I recommend quitting on the first day, if only to make the HR bastards work harder. But I know you're joking, anyway. I know it's against the law to fire people in Canada.
Strangely, I had a joke about Saddam too. About how lonely the spider left in the spiderhole when Saddam left abruptly, without saying goodbye.
Cube, hey, that's funnier than my joke. You bastard. Anyway, there's room for both of us on the Daily Show (as long as the real writers are still on strike).
QUit my job in November. Still looking. It's amazing how hard it is for someone with a Ph.D. to get a job. I'm overqualified for almost everything, and I don't have enough publications for the few jobs that would be perfect for me. Oh well. Gotta keep looking.
Dr., good luck. I hated looking for a job, but I've always been under qualified (that's my secret to not getting too depressed). My Honey worked at Banana Republic for a long time before finally finding a job with an hour and a half commute. And she has a law degree. Things have been pretty messed up for a while now. Good luck. I hope you leave us all behind.
no, but i laughed!
and sorry about the job thing.
Crys, it's a good thing, I swear. I get to stay home and grow a beard. The only loser in me quitting is Dunkin' Donuts. I've always been more of an instant coffee kind of guy, anyway.
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