I Love Coca Cola (A Pay Per Post)
As an expectant father and the owner (leaser, actually) of a new car, I'm in urgent need of cash, so I've decided to try my first Pay Per Post. I hope nobody get offended by it. I will try as much as I can to remain true to the spirit of this blog, only now I won't be thirsty while I do it because I will be drinking Coca Cola.
Coca Cola is a great drink. I love to drink it when I eat pizza, and it also goes well with fries. I've been a vegetarian for about ten years, but from what I've heard and if I remember correctly, Coca Cola goes great with chicken nuggets.
I remember the first time I saw a Coca Cola bottle. I was five years old. My mother woke me up in the middle of the night. She said, "Honey, wake up. we have Coca Cola."
I remember walking to the kitchen, where the rest of the family was already gathered around the table. My father was first. He poured some into a glass. I remember some of the foam spilled and we all laughed. He then took a swig with his eyes closed. A long moment passed before he opened his eyes and smiled. But his burp, coming immediately after, was so violent that the table shook and the glass Coca Cola bottle broke on the floor. The rest of the family had to wait another month to have a taste.
24 comments:
I can't be offended.
Coke is my favorite food group.
It's just a good thing you didn't write about it being like crack.
Their marketing people would probably hate that.
I'll click on some links for ya :)
Cuz I'm a giver....
Gotta do what you gotta do!
Coke with pizza is awesome, I agree.
Oh, you two are being so nice and kind and I'm being such a douche. But I was just joking. For a while now I've wanted to write about people who whore themselves out for pennies between very personal and honest posts, so I thought I'll do that myself. I thought I'll do it with Coca Cola because no one would believe I was hired to write about Coke. But I take that as a great compliment that it seemed real. And thanks again for being so nice about it.
So, I didn't get paid by Coca Cola to write about their product, but as long as I'm here, I have to say you can't eat pizza without a Coke.
And as for my next post, who knows? It might have a picture of a baby. If that still doesn't happen, it might have a picture of Dennis Hopper!
When the baby comes, you will love Coca-Cola even more, because it has caffeine.
I am the mother of four, and believe me, caffeine is a miracle.
Diet Coke? Now THAT is some awesome stuff. I had TWO cups of it, last night. And a Diet Pepsi, too. I'm not choosy.
I have a few products that I LOVE, and I have hesitated to blog about them because I feared people would read the posts and think I was whoring myself out, for pennies. So, if you see me raving about mascara and washer/dryers and hair straighteners, know it's honest, free love.
If I have some post about the joys of salmon, though, know that some guy from Washington State drove up to my house with a truck full of cash.
I did PPP. It got tiring. Especially when the rules changed.
Is that another picture of your feet? Loves it!
Christine, I also love caffeine but sometimes it gives me the shakes. In the past I used to solve it with cigarettes, but "someone" thought it would be a good idea if we both quit smoking when she got pregnant. Go figure. But I'm still a useless shadow of a man without my morning coffee. And if you see me raving about mascara and hair straighteners, know I've been bought. But I do appreciate a good washer/dryer.
Durante, maybe I overdid it with the word "whoring." Probably. We're all the same, after all. We all just need a long, big hug.
You thing I should have been a foot model? Not a very big market, I'm afraid. Not that many foot accessories. Humanity needs more foot accessories--I think I'm on to something!
Toe rings are the way to go!!!!!!!!!! Love those things. 'Course 'ya gotta live in a climate like Houston to really get full use out of them.
VERY FUNNY on the post!!!!!!!!!!!!1
:-) :-) :-)
So how do you make money, do I have to click on it or something?
I was making decent spare change via in post tla but google wacked my pr. lol
I am certainly not offended. I just do not like no content site which start soley for the reason of placing ads.
Ha ha; you so did not get hired by coke. Did you? Do they even need to do pay-per-post? Also I am suspicious because of your keywords. Funny stuff though. I like Pepsi better myself.
Great satire on the pay per posts!
Seriously, those things have been so annoying. Ruining perfectly good blogs. This made me laugh. Thanks.
So this isn't really a pay per post.
I hate Coke--the drink I mean.
loling... I did wonder if you were getting a full 10 cents per use of the coca cola name! lol Would have made enough for a cup of java later I suppose! lol
More like KKKoKKKa KKKola.
Pepsi FTW.
Jill, thanks. I was hoping not to offend too many people. Luckily, the sight of my serene feet has defused yet another potential catastrophe.
Cooper, I'm sorry... I was just joking. See? I'm a dick. Now you know.
Jennifer, you got me. I honestly didn't try to trick anyone... I thought I was being funny and that everyone is going to be in on the joke...
I wouldn't think Coke needs blog advertising. I mean, they don't even put their name in commercials anymore. They just put something red over a black background and I'm on my way to the fridge. I don't get Pepsi, though.
Princess, hey, thanks (and welcome). If laughing leaves you with a dry throat you can always quench your thirst with Coca Cola.
Enemy, no... I was just being silly.
Kate, still--not enough to pay the dentist bills.
Woozie, what's Pepsi?
I'm so addicted to Diet Coke it's not even funny.
You should do foot porn. Just make sure the baby doesn't hear you.
I'm not a big beverage drinker. I'm more of a wet-my-whistle type but you know when I get a thirst for Coke nothing can satisfy it except a nice, cold, fresh Coke. It burns all the way down my throat but I love it.
Ajooja, it might actually be funny if someone tells you a joke and the Diet Coke comes out of your nose.
Durante, I've resisted doing foot porn for a while, even though my agent has been pushing me to do that. I'll talk to him. It's for a good cause, after all(?).
Mickie, before I moved here, I drank a little bit every once in a while. Then I moved here and saw how much Coke people drink, and for me it was just another example of "these stupid Americans." I used to be very judgmental and kind of silly. Ignorant and condescending, maybe. I mean, yes--people here drink too much Coke, but they also have access to dentists so it kind of evens out. As long as they can afford dentists. Which no one does.
I think you did an AWESOME job...
if PayPerPost works like this... I am totally signing UP.
Meleah!!! No!!! I was just joking!!!
You had me fooled too. I was wondering why all of a sudden a pay per post actually read well. But I was also wondering where the PPP link was. (I was too dense to realize Coke would never market like this.)
MS, now, here's something you might appreciate as a historian: at first I thought, Why would anyone think we didn't have Coke and we had to wait a month until the next shipment? --Because I just wanted to make a joke; I didn't mean to fool anyone. But then I thought about it and remembered that growing up we actually didn't have Pepsi. For many years, Pepsico gave in to the Arab boycott and didn't sell its products in Israel. To me, it's kind of interesting to think that relatively recently something like that was possible. Can you imagine the backlash of an Arab boycott nowadays? Anyway, maybe I never liked Pepsi because I didn't have it as a child. I still don't get Pepsi.
que poetico
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