What I Think About When I Lie On the Floor, Getting Ready to Do Just One More Sit Up In Order to Get Rid of My Sympathy Belly
- My fan looks like a Muppet.
- I could spend the rest of my life watching Beauty and the Geek.
- Man, that Pushing Daisies show is good.
- My back hurts.
- I'm a bit dizzy. Been taking these crazy pills ever since my once-a-decade day of exercise. I think I'd have been safer if I started smoking again. Apparently I tore a ligament in my left leg, whatever that means.
- A little anecdote: The first day I took these pills, I woke up in the middle of the night in panic because I thought I owed two-thousands Dollars in rent. I calmed myself down after a few minutes because I don't owe rent, and then I thought that maybe I woke up as someone else, and I panicked again.
- Never had a massage. I want a massage.
- I could lie here all day, looking at the Muppet.
- I wish I didn't drink Coke and didn't eat Nestle products, but then I might as well cut my dick off.
- Speaking of cutting one's dick off, I'm not excited about the circumcision thing. I saw a picture in one of the classes we're taking... Man... It's bloody and scabby... But we'll do it anyway. For me, at least, even a scabby one is less weird than a non-circumcised one.
- One day I'll be old and that will be sad. Maybe I should spend my time doing fun things instead of lying here looking at the ceiling fan?
- In 2001, I was a mover in New York for a few months, and my body looked like an upside down triangle. If you put my old body on top of my new body you get the Star of David.
- Here's a good moving-related trivia question: What did people get rid of when they moved? What's the one thing that stood out most of all? It's pretty interesting, I think. Anyway, the answer is treadmills.
- I'm hungry.
21 comments:
I'm with you on the Star of David thing. And you're mean to your treadmill. I couldn't live without mine. Seriously. It is great when I'm mad and when I'm stressed and when I don't want to drink and eat spinach and artichoke dip. But I eat the dip anyway.
Pushing Daisies is awesome!!
I am tired too.
I have grown quite attatched to my foreskin..
For me, at least, even a scabby one is less weird than a non-circumcised one.
Hey, right here chazzer :)
I ♥ my foreskin.
I had a massage a couple of years ago for the first time. Didn't do a damn thing for me.
"I wish I didn't drink Coke and didn't eat Nestle products, but then I might as well cut my dick off."
I'm lucky I'm a female I guess, since I hardly ever drink soda or eat Nestle. :-0 :-0 :-0 I'd drink Coke if I drank soda though, does that count?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Circumcision is dangerous you know. Working as a doula and training in Nursing school I heard and saw some pretty bad stuff. Also, I recently interviewed a woman who's son had major issues. They cut a vein and he was on antibiotics; he got major yeast infections, etc. It's not even recommended anymore. Not to get all preachy but I'd seriously go over the research before making a decision. So many fewer parents are doing this that pretty soon it won't be the norm anymore in the US.
Sorry, had to say it. On a better note, "One day I'll be old and that will be sad." I do that. I'll be doing something lame and think this and be like what am I doing! Great list. This is why I read while exercising -- less thinking involved.
"So many fewer" what is wrong with me? It's five am -- that must be it.
Durante, Oh, I don't have a treadmill. Not yet. I've seen so many of them thrown out on the streets so now I have to think a lot if we'll actually be using it. At the same time, if you see a stray cat that doesn't mean you shouldn't get a cat. Makes sense, right? And my pregnant Honey called my "Two by Four" yesterday.
Mel, right? How did a show like that end up on network TV? Did they run out of reality shows?
Barnze, I'm sorry to hear that. A better hygene would have helped. I'll need you to drink this bottle of whiskey and close your eyes. Time to amputate.
Woozie, seems like you got me this time. Your command of my people's language was enough to make me feel comfortable clicking the link. Unfortunately, you'll burn in Hell because God does not ♥ your foreskin. I guess we're even now.
Fab, really? That was one of those things I can easily do but haven't done yet, and now I've built this idea in my mind of what it'll be like and it looks amazing. Let me think of an example... Like someone who finally feels it's time to watch Star Wars but then it's just an S&M guy chasing around a bunch of nerds. And a big dog. And a trashcan. You know?
Jill, maybe in a previous life you didn't drink enough coke and now as a punishment you were born a female? I'm only an amateur theologian but I know a thing or two about crime and punishment.
Jennifer, I know. In Jr.'s life, this will be his introduction to things he does (or are done to him) that are probably bad for him. I can only hope for the best, but even as an Atheist I feel I have to do that. We both do. And actually before I did read about it I thought only Jewish people did it. At least we'll do it in the hospital and not with a freakin' rabbi.
5am in the West Coast is 8am over here, which means you made your inexcusable grammatical error at 8am. That's too late in the day to make mistakes.
I can no longer do crunchies as I've got a hernia (what a great excuese) and I've also just circumcised my banana - it didn't hurt one bit although I thought it looked funny.
you lost me at "sit ups"
i don't compute
i am, however, in full agreement about the muppet thing...
I KNEW my sister would write something knocking circumcision, so I had to come in and write an opposition to her opposing it...I think that it is fine. Invasive, yes, but it cuts the chance of getting HIV dramatically, and, well, I guess that's my only opinion. It cuts penile cancer to I hear. I guess, your son is not living in a third world country with millions of AIDS cases, but still...it's a useful factoid. I wonder how much she is going to haras me when I have a son one day and he is on that table awaiting the fate of his foreskin. Hmmm.
Wow, my comment was full of incorrectly spelled words and inappropriately place commas. Ah well.
Upside down star - sexy.
Star of David - holy.
Either way-- you're golden, yeah?
Couldn't see the muppet though...what ARE those pills doing to you?
Thanks for the laugh....
Spooky, you mean married men also need to worry about the way their body looks? Inconceivable. It didn't hurt to cut your banana? Man... It hurts me just thinking about it..
Wishful, Honey hasn't gained any weight so I've been eating for three for the last few months, gaining what some people call "A Sympathy Belly." I think it's a known issue in psychiatric circles of knowledge. What? It reminds me how in all of my writing classes people most admired Kerouac's free-association writing. Of course that was just an excuse for laziness, but don't tell anyone. And about the muppet--right? Every time I lie there I'm thinking, How cute is my fan?
Sarah, Ai ai ai. Why does life have to be so complicated? Maybe it's not? Maybe I should just make a decision? I mean, We should make a decision. Actually, I think Honey mostly will go along with what I think. And you know... I've been reading some more since I wrote this post. Talked to some people with different points of view. It should probably be the subject of a whole new post... Didn't mean to create a family feud, though. I understand why anti-circumcision people will look at circumcision with horror. Ahhhhh... I need a responsible adult to take over the decision making for me.
Leisel, hmm... you know... look... it's got these small eyes, a mouth wide open, and two fun, alien ears. See it now? Maybe it's one of those look-at-a-bunch-of-dots-for-an-hour-until-you-see-a-freakin'-dolphin type of things?
okay you got me...here's another one to bookmark...geez I amnever going to get any work done!
Hope, thanks for saying that. The more time you spend reading, the less time you have for another load of laundry. It's a win-win.
I love Pushing Daisies!
Kensington, it just better, isn't it? Still, seems like I'm all alone in the Beauty and the Geek fan club. I stand my ground, though. Still think it's genius.
Nestle products are my life.
Stepping, I know, I know. But it's such an evil company... We all do what we can but to be honest, I can't do much right now. If someone told me they make Caramel Crunch out of little dead babies I'd still eat it.
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