I Want a Blogjob
Anyway, they moved me from evening to morning shift, which has some advantages, one if which is that finally I get to be home on Sunday nights, stopping the friends who come over from playing Trivial Pursuit. Speaking of feeling stupid and inadequate (the only thing I do in TP is roll the dice. Never answered a question), we have all these pregnancy classes coming soon. I protested being dragged to breastfeeding class but Honey insisted.
What was I talking about?
If I survive being surrounded by all these boobies, it’s probably time I started looking for a new job. With the crazy cost of daycare we’ve decided the best thing will be for me to stay home. At least for a while.
I looked around a bit and saw some job notices for freelance writers. I’m going to start applying soon, but I'm not very optimistic. I find it hard to believe I would be able to stand out. Most of these notices look for someone who specializes in particular stuff. Not much demand for someone interested in nothing and everything and all that's in between.
I’ll keep looking, but if you see a good writing job anywhere feel free to put in a good word for me. I have a BA in creative writing, and I already stand out from that crowd because I’ve never used the phrase “nodded vigorously.”
Wish me luck.
33 comments:
You crack me up. You used "nodded vigorously" just now. Luck!
I won't tell you what I thought the title of this post was. roflmao
Will do (she types, nodding vigorously).
shit.
i did it.
damn it.
Damn, Shelli and the wishful writer stole my joke.
I'm full of envy at the whole stay at home dad thing.
I wish you luck :D
When is the baby due?
Breastfeeding-class for men?
Wow. we sure 'came a long way' since the days my children were born.
LOL.
I **********love************ to nod vigorously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, I just tried it - maybe I don't. It might give me a headache, actually...
I don't even know where you look for one of those blogjobs, but good luck surviving the boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehehe... love the title!
You will be a great stay at home dad! I can just imagine your posts! hehehe poop alerts!
The only issue I have with this post was that you said,
"I find it hard to believe I would be able to stand out." If you dont believe it then it wont haoppen. If you think you do/can then you will. You ARE really creative. I bet you stand out more than you think you do. (oh and what about applying to marketing companies offering to do consulting work writing ads or literature on companies... thats what I do btw)
It's a tough road if you're the primary income-generator. We writers are so underappreciated. How about editing? There's tons of low-paying editing jobs around! I found mine on Craigslist/freelance writing. Good luck!
Good luck!! I never nod vigorously, its just way too much much trouble. i dont know how all those head bangers do it.
I agree with Kate - you have to believe that you stand out! Otherwise you're looking in the mirror and holding your squared off index and thumb to your forehead and saying, "Loooozer..Looooo...ZER." blech.
You have a BA in creative writing? Wow. I toyed around with the idea of freelance writing and started Googling for info. There are a lot of resources out there. Granted I didn't do anything about it but I did look into making a buck or 2 from writing. I even considered writing greeting cards. Check out "home based businesses" or even "stay at home moms" (sexist, but that's the search to use).
Oh, I read that if you submit to eZines you gain some credibility as well as links, too. So you may want to start a new blog that is more geared towards professional writing.
Alternate view on freelance writing: someone I knew said tried it - once - and it was really difficult for him. The difficulty was having to write in a specific way. For some this may be interesting, for others, painful.
Nodded vigorously? Hahaha! Many of the writing books I've read strongly advised against adverb overuse. Ditto using verbs like: shouted, screamed, whined, cried, sobbed when describing a conversation.
I admire your writing. Very clean, spare and you know how to set a mood.
You write beautifully! The trouble is: beautiful writing never seems to be much in demand...
As someone suggested above, for most people who write for a living, it's probably all about writing in a very specific way, whatever happens to be required. I'm sure you can do that if you want to - and yes, you have to start believing you can - and you can!!! But do allow some time for your *own* writing too. How about a witty novel about bringing up a baby while trying to earn a living from home as a hack writer - with flashbacks to a rich and colorful life? Now *that's* something I'm sure you can do. And what's even better: we all want to read it!
Good luck! I bet something good will come your way.
If you run across any editor/page design gigs in your search, let me know. I'm thinking the same kind of thing.
Ms.Q - Definitely on the mood setting! And on the certain kind of writing. I can do laughing at myself and other life absurdities and I can do five paragraph essays. Other than that though...
Jill: you're ahead of the game if you can do the 5-paragraph essay. I had to crank those out in high school so can pretty much crank those out now! I'm always amazed at how many people don't know how to write a 5-para essay.
PITS: you may want to check out this blog: http://www.thearticlewriter.com/
and this one has good info on self-publishing:
http://www.lillieammann.com/blog/
I think that one of the blogs mentioned a fee structure and some of the freelance contract terms (like being able to submit your piece to various magazines, forget the term, like 'first [something]')
Marcia Loftis (found her blog via Ricardo) self-publishes so you may want to try your hand at eBooks:
http://familyof7.wordpress.com/
Thank you, everyone. The whole thing is overwhelming--every change is, more or less--but this is a good thing. I'm scared of being a father and of the need to find a new job, but at the same time I can't wait for all of this to happen. Thank you all for the tips and for the encouraging comments.
By the way, What do you think? When I apply to writing/editing jobs should I mention this blog?
Shelli, I swear every story in my creative writing classes included someone nodding vigorously. Personally, I've never seen anyone nod. Ever.
Wishful, I see you used the oldest trick in the book (I think it's called "The Hungarian Defense"): Future simple, present simple, shit, past simple, damn it.
Dan, I don't know. I'm still a part of a society that doesn't appreciate this new phenomenon, and I'm sure some people will go out of their way to make me feel bad about it. I can only do what I feel is the right thing, though. I hope I'm right.
Tsedek, thanks. End of November, Inshallah. The breastfeeding class is not for me but I was asked to come anyway. I really hope I'm not the only guy there. Just me and the boobies.
Jill, I know. All these people write it like it makes sense but if you try it you find out it's really uncomfortable. That's the disease of early writing, though: the idea that "He agreed" is somehow not literary enough. The poor guy has to nod vigorously to prove himself.
Kate, thank you for saying all that. I will try to do it, I promise. I didn't have much luck in the past but I really didn't try hard enough.
Nutmeg, thanks for the tip. I will try that (low-paying-editing-job is my middle name, after all). Honey has always made more money so it just makes sense that I'll be the one staying home. It's all good.
Mel, maybe you're on to something. Maybe nodding vigorously makes more sense when you have long, unwashed hair.
Ms. Q, thanks for the tips and for the encouragement. It was really nice to read that. By the way, I use "really" too much because I'm a lazy writer (sometimes). And good luck to you, too.
Simon, I believe you'll be able to read that non-fiction book writing here. I hope people will be interested. After all, I'm not the first person to have a baby. And I think you were right about what you said at the beginning (not the "beautifully" part). I think my writing has the potential to stand out, but I'm not sure anyone is interested in stand-out writing. I have to be optimistic, though. I can write boring stuff, I swear.
Windyridge, thanks for saying that.
Ajooja, I promise I will. And good luck.
Jill, by the way, thank you so much for all the comments. I love it when people read older posts, and I love it when people interact with each other here. It makes me feel this thing is alive even when I'm not around.
Ms.Q, I will try all these things. Thank you for thinking about me.
You asked about whether or not to mention your blog when applying for work - I would guess it'd depend on the gig. I heard that it's almost expected that writers have blogs. If you specialize in anything (like, oh "stay at home dad") you may want to start a blog just for that.
Speaking about stay-at-home dads, I was chatting with a guy on the plane and he was saying that the internet was great for finding all sorts of tips for fathers. For example, now that fathers are sometimes the "main parent" the public restrooms for men need to have baby changing stations! This guy knew which restaurant chains had these stations in both restrooms. I had never even considered this - how sexist am I??
I agree with Ms. Q. You should mention your blog if it has anything to do with the job you're applying for.
If it's some conservative newspaper I wouldn't do it. But I guess you wouldn't apply for something like that in the first place.
So probably you should mention it.
It's a good blog after all. ;)
I third Ms. Q, mention the blog. The motion is passed, and you must comply.
Hard to stand out!?!? You are "People in the Sun" God damn it. The most unstoppable force in the blogosphere. Of course you'll stand out.
My heart goes out to you on all the pregnancy classes and such. You gotta do do it to show support but it's gotta hurt. You're a bigger man for doing it as I would run far, far away.
ths is why I can never be a father :-)
Ms. Q, I've seen a few men's rooms with changing tables. I think it was weird for me the first time but it makes sense. I think it's kind of expected now. More or less. The stay-at-home-dad idea could be good. Thanks again.
Marko, thanks. There's still some time before I do anything but I'll be using all the advice I get here.
Woozie, unfortunately I have veto power. I am the decider.
Ricardo, that's right! Let the eagle soar!
And about the classes, the support issue is probably more relevant to the breastfeeding class, but the other classes should be important to me too. I already went to one class where they told us there's nothing wrong with a conehead baby. That's good, because otherwise I would have just pushed him back inside. I have a reputation in this town, after all.
I'll keep my eyes open. However in the meantime you might consider Associated Content. They don't pay very much per article, but if the content performs well you can earn residual income very easily.
lol
I was going to send this post under the pseudonym of Lydia and tell how much it meant to me that you had called me by that name and that I'd undergone a sex-change and was now living a double life. However, I thought the joke might have gone to far so I didn't and instead wrote a serious reply to your latest post... i.e
Good luck with the writing
I think the only time I would use the phrase "nodded vigorously" would be euphemistically.
People are known to "nod vigorously" in cars parked on side streets and scenic overlooks. Conversation always seems much more agreable in a parked car. (I say a parked car, because in a moving car people tend to nod a little less vigorously.)
Hey guess what? I taught my class to "nod vigorously" today! My co-teacher & I get tired of them yelling out if they want snack seconds, so today I taught the difference between nodding & shaking their heads...it was all kinds of adorable and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more peaceful manner of distributing crackers. ;-)
You can stay at home? I want your wife's income.
Speaking of writing, I'm doing a paper on that. We hope to get it published.
you are an excellent writer - and I wouldn't be surprised if there was a blog out there in interwebland, just waiting to pay you to write for them.
oh, and Stay At Home Dads (SAHDs) are hot!
Square1, thanks for the tip. I don't really know what I'm looking for yet (as usual), so I'm going to look at everything. And good luck on this year's NANOWRIMO.
Derrick, are you laughing because $5.99 is unbelievably cheap for these cool sunglasses?
Spooky, thanks. But you don't need to write a serious reply. You're exempt. And how can a joke go too far if there are no dead bodies anywhere?
Scot, I was about to say that this is how my uncle died and all that, but then I thought--wait, did Scot really mean that? Do people actually use that? And if not, can we claim the coinage of this phrase in that context? Fame and fortune! Immortality! I've just co-coined a phrase! (and with co-coined, I've just coined a word! What a productive day).
Jill, holy shite! It's out of control! A new generation of nodders! Actually it is kind of cute now that I imagine it.
Durante, yea... We don't have it planned entirely yet. Because daycare is so insane there's no practical reason for entry-level me to stay at my job because it'll mean very little extra money at the cost of Jr. being raised by neighbors. And if I'm home (and hopefully making some money), I can teach him Hebrew and manners and right from wrong, and I will also teach him he comes from the planet Klyxtipan, just to mess him up.
Kristen, thank you. And thank you. I was about to say that I don't know anything about that but you know what? I think you're right. Maybe I'll make hotsahd.com my money blog?
I say long live cone head babies then.
Wait- your Uncle died due to "vigorous nodding" in a car? Was it a moving car, or was it more urban legend/campfire story type incident in a parked car?
Worse yet, he could have been injured like the guy in "The World According to Garp" when Garp slammed into the back of the car parked in the driveway and.... (either you've read it or you haven't)
Ricardo, like the old saying, "In the round-head land, the cone-head is king."
Scot, I saw the movie...
But I tend to say that a lot about my uncle. It's kind of a recurring joke between me and myself because my mom told me how my uncle really died only when I was twenty. So now, every time someone says something strange I say, "That's how my uncle died." Well I think it's funny.
Well, I'm late to the party. See what happens when you really blog for a living. You don't have time to read your favorite blogs :( There, that's one downside for you.
I always thought (ok, not always but since I found your blog) that you'd make an excellent writer based on sheer talent alone. Sadly most writing work is won by a ton of hard work rather than sheer talent. But you are good so you could do it.
My tips learn where to look for work. Don't ever work for free or pennies because writing is hard to do for a living but you do NOT ever have to do it for no money -- there are a ton of jobs out there. And lastly the law of averages are in your favor; apply to enough places and you'll get work.
I'd recommend you to any of the networks I blog for and there's only maybe three non-professional bloggers I'd do that for so I guess at least I think you're good (whatever that's worth).
If you're serious and need some links of where to get work email me (through my email at Offbeat Homes). I've got plenty of links that might work for you.
Hey Jennifer, consider yourself emailed. (And thanks for everything).
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