Chicken Nuggets
Thank you all for your comments on the previous post. Now, it's not every day I can come up with something like that, so instead of trying to top the previous post I will just give you a meaningless story:
In London, my roommate had a friend stay over for a while. He was from a small Kibbutz and I was from Tel-Aviv, the big city, which meant we had nothing in common. Long story short, he finished my chicken nuggets. Not a big deal, unless you go down to the kitchen craving chicken nuggets only to find an empty box in the trash. So obviously, I did what anyone else would have done in my situation: I wrote a note saying, “You’re not in the Kibbutz anymore. Over here we don’t share our food.” Then, of course, I took out the empty box from the trash and with a large kitchen knife stuck the empty box with the note to his door. Obviously.
A minute later he comes home and sees a piece of trash and a note stuck to his door by a big horror-movie knife. And he looks at me and I’m ready for a fight, but he shrugs and hands me a family-size box of chicken nuggets he just bought at the supermarket.
It’s been a while but God help me, I still have a long way to go. At least I’m vegetarian now.
20 comments:
Well, I did come for my American Idol gossip and this is what I find. Did you really do that...with the knife...over nuggets? Really? That's just loony; but kind of cool in a punk rock way. It's probably safer for everyone now that you're a veggie.
Haha!! I can see the headlines now if the incident had not resolved peacefully....McMurder over McNuggets!
I know how you felt though. When my kids lived at home I had to hide food, teenagers will eat you out of house and home! So if I knew I had to have something, I had to try and hide it and even then they would sometimes still find it.
At least I’m vegetarian now.
That just means you'll be nailing brussel sprouts to people's doors.
Jennifer, yes... I'm a bit impatient sometimes. Another roommate was listening to music after midnight. I was so angry that I couldn't sleep. So at 4am I went to the kitchen, grabbed two pots and banged them together for a few minutes outside his door. Funny, I still wasn't sleepy after that.
Mel, that's funny. Maybe I was just traumatized by my father. He would always eat an entire box of ice cream and then just at the end get filled with remorse so he'd leave one tea spoon worth of ice cream and put it back in the freezer. Our house always had cookie jars with a single cookie in them.
Mr. Fab, that probably would have been better. You get the message when you have two green testicles nailed to your door.
What makes this story so great: Obviously.
As if there was no other course of action for nugget thievery.
I think you're crazy, but I've never had a roommate that wasn't family, much less experience someone eating my food, so I can't be too judge-y.
Although I would have loved to read about a fight. You'll have to include one of those in the near future. I bet you have stories.
I really enjoyed the post, and that picture is just grand!
Excellent1 And of course the knife is the best part. I'm still laughing!
Scot, isn't there a commandment or two specifically related to chicken nuggets? Should be.
durante, let's see: last real fight was in the army. It was just me and another guy in a security post in a West Bank settlement. For a week. All the makings of a good student film. He was homesick while I was trying to have fun. He cried a lot. His mother came to visit. When she left I told him his mom was ugly. He lounged at me, his nails digging in my cheeks while I was banging his head on the wall. Man, that was fun. I had a near-fight once in Brooklyn. I'll have a post about that one soon.
Sir, thank you. Buddy is very photogenic, even from this angle.
Erika, hey, I can't believe my genius marketing technique brought you here. Thanks for the visit.
It's official!
You are a Thinking Blogger.
Best wishes
Bill
Why do people get upset when you dog their mom? Someone did that to me the other day and I just laughed.
I want to get into a fight. I was in one, but the entire thing was lame because I was drunk and I was not warned--there is nothing more cowardly than someone starting a fight with you from the side.
I anticipate the Brooklyn near-fight.
Bill, thank you for that. My first tag!
durante, a good fight could probably be fun (and I need an excuse to replace all my teeth anyway). On the other hand, I read police reports about violent crime all day at work, which makes me think I'll be happy to avoid violence for the rest of my life. The Brooklyn near-fight will come after I do the Thinking Blogger thingy, I promise.
The story's great, but that picture? OMG I want to hug my monitor!
I'm looking forward to it. Or maybe I could stop living vicariously and just get a punching bag.
Two Write Hands, feel free to hug the monitor, just don't try to take his toy away. He doesn't like that.
Durante, oh no, now I know I'll disappoint you. Maybe I should fool around with the story a bit? Sprinkle a few ninjas here and there? Maybe a solar eclipse (an eclipse always makes a good story because it's a METAPHOR)?
I was afraid Chicken Nugget was going to be the name of your dog. Thank God its not. I really like your site...will be back for more :)
Hihihiiii you're a funny guy :D
If I'd been your flatmate that time I wouldn't have been able to stop laughing :D
Kali, he's Buddy (and the one on the header is Ginger). They were saved/taken from an old roommate, so we couldn't just change their names. They respond to Budbud and Gingee, though. They sometimes respond to Douchebag.
Tsedek, he didn't know me so he didn't know how far I was going to go with my hungry rage. A friend told me she met him a while ago and during their conversation he realized she knew me. They had a good laugh. Apparently--at least that's what she told him--doing this sort of stuff was very typical of me...
Freakin' hilarious! Reminds me of the time I was painting donuts, spent several weeks painting them, and my roomate ate one of them by accident. They were kinda getting moldy by that time.
And I love the horror movie knife touch. Remind me never to get on your bad side :)
Painting donuts? As in decorating donuts or making an oil painting of donuts? Man, you creative people...
Yep. Satan takes over about once a decade (that I know of. Maybe there's more).
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