A Bad Day to be a Republican

At first glance, it seems like today wasn't a good day to be a Republican. A lot of things have gone wrong:

• An intelligence report showed the war has made us less safe. Yes. I knew that too.
• The army admitted it was losing the battle in Iraq.
• What do you know? We're also losing in Afghanistan. That is, as long as you read Newsweek in any other country.
  

Wait, I'm sorry. I'm being distracted by something very cute. What were we talking about?

• The Roadmap to Peace is back at square one.
• The Pentagon is extending Iraq duty for thousands.

Sorry, distracted again by cheap, cheap gas. Maybe I'm not one of the cynical 50%.

• Poor Rumsfeld. Everyone hates him.
• Poor Earth. Everyone abuses it.

Enough! Can't a Republican get a break?
Thank God and thank Bush, we're relatively safe again!